Take a Chance
by iDevalu
Summary: Teito really hates Valentine's Day. High School AU. T because of the language. (I really finished it this time, I SWEAR.)
1. One-Shot

**Title: Take a Chance**

**Pairing: Frito**

**Characters: Teito, Hakuren, Shuri, Frau, Castor, Razette and Labby (Bastien, Kurena, and Mikage are only mentioned)**

**Timeline: Alternate Universe, High School, TEENAGERZ**

**Word Count: 4,353**

**Other: Unbeta'd. Sorry for any mistakes!**

**A/N: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! The holiday really snuck up on me; Romeo reminded me last night and I sorta wrote this all spur-of-the-moment type of deal. Stayed up 'till four, and thankfully with no school or work today, I was able to finish it. RIGHT ON TIME~ So this fic is dedicated to Black Romeo. I hope everyone likes, and I'm not the only that does.**

* * *

As a high school student, it wasn't expected of him to pass out valentines anymore. In elementary, it was practically obligatory to hand a card and a piece of candy to every student in the class. In middle school, the tradition carried on by habit. By high school, the unity that all children had with their peers had all but disintegrated and valentines were only passed to those that 'mattered'.

And, really, only one person mattered to Teito but he wasn't present at the moment. Mikage's brother was getting married outside the country or something, and the whole Celestine family had packed and gone to help with the setup. He'd still be gone for another week, as it were.

The holiday had snuck rather unexpectedly upon Teito as he found the halls of his school decorated with red, pink and white hearts and cupids, with girls dressed in their prettiest as they passed out chocolate, and a few boys returning the gesture with flowers or candy. Regardless of social norm, Mikage always took it upon himself to make Teito participate in every holiday, including the couple-oriented ones, and became the brunet's sort-of walking calendar.

For Valentine's Day, he would remind Teito to buy a holiday gram for the blond and he would return the gesture. That way they would get _something_, he had explained during their first year of middle school when holiday participation was no longer necessary within public schools.

Teito wasn't an idiot though. He knew that Mikage received plenty of those student-sold grams from the friends in all his classes, as well as the cheerleaders that watched him practice with the soccer team. It was Teito that received just the one.

Now his first Valentine's Day in high school would be his first without receiving anything. He would receive something in the mail soon, Mikage had said in an email the previous night, but his peers in class would most likely judge him as a pathetic loner without a single friend when grams were passed and his desk would be empty save his English book.

Not that Teito particularly cared what his peers thought of him, they were all idiots anyway, but he'd rather wish they didn't look at him with any sort of pity or scorn. That got annoying quickly, considering he had to be put through enough of that at every Back-To-School-Night. The maid of his guardian's estate was not the type of person to be generally accepted by the supportive, homemade-cookies moms and business-suits, _'that's my boy!'_ dads that attended.

Kurena wasn't much of a talker either, and when she did decide to do so, it was rather bleak and depressing. Teito didn't blame her. She was a _maid_, after all. The job has to suck.

So, it was with a deep breath that Teito mentally prepared himself when he walked into his homeroom. The bell rang five minutes later, attendance was taken, homework was turned in, and graded quizzes were passed back, and dread: two choir students came into their classroom for the Valentine's Day grams.

Previous years, Teito learned to loath the choir kids. Because Mikage was _always_ behind them entering his classroom and he would be forced to sit through some horribly overused love song while slowly dying of embarrassment as it was sung to him.

This year he was safe though. Had to be. Mikage had not the time to send a gram before leaving, and so the singing _should not_ be for him. He breathed a sigh of relief and opened his copy of _Great Expectations_ to reread. All around him, grams were passed as a girl with dark hair was being serenaded with a popular pop song that seemed rather inappropriate for the time and place.

He was just beginning to think the choir kids had gone when three horribly pink, unimaginative xeroxed Valentine cards fluttered atop his book. He looked up to be burdened with the smirk of a blond his grade level, having long blond hair tied off in an off-the-shoulder ponytail and eyes that near shone like amethysts.

"Hey, Klein."

Teito bit back a snarl, but did not keep the annoyance from his tone. "Hakuren Oak. What do you want?"

"My cousin and I are going to sing you a song."

Said cousin was finishing up for a girl near the back row of students.

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Oh, but _we have to_," he replied sickly sweet, not at all apologetic. "It's paid for and everything."

"Who paid?" Now Teito did snarl. He wanted the name so he could properly plot his revenge. If it had been Mikage...

The lying bastard.

"Can't say. They asked to remain anonymous."

"And this?" Teito gestured to the monstrosities keeping him from reading about Pip.

"Those have names. Why seniors are giving you Valentines, I have no idea."

"This one is from you, isn't it?" The card had merely said _Oak_, and inside was a reminder that their biology project was due on Monday.

Hakuren shrugged. "With Mikage gone, I figured no one would send you anything. Didn't want you looking pathetic."

They interacted only in biology, having been partnered up as lab partners. Teito didn't think he'd left much of an impression on the blond. Well, enough to warrant a valentine at least.

"Ah... Thanks. Sorry, I didn't get you anything."

"Oh, that's hardly a problem," Hakuren smiled mischievously, and a girl behind Teito sighed dreamily. "Your secret admirer has given me the best valentine I can ever hope to get out of you. SHURI!"

"_I think you're pretty, without any makeup on,"_ the older Oak began with much more enthusiasm than he put into the other singing grams as he walked up the aisle towards Teito and his cousin, "_I think you're funny when you tell the punch-line wrong. I know you get me, so I let my walls come down – do-wn_."

"_Before you met me, I was alright but thinks were kinda heavy, you brought life. Now every February, you'll be my Valentine_," Hakuren grinned _maliciously_ as a chorus of giggles began somewhere behind Teito. "_Valentine_."

"_Let's just fall, into the night. No regrets, just love~_"the two sang together, causing the class to erupt in cheers as they finished through the song in perfect sync.

Teito attempted to severely injure himself with his pencil when most of the female students began to coo and look at him with happily jealous eyes, but Hakuren stole it from him before he could do any damage. Not once breaking from the song too; it was terrifying. The brunet resigned himself to the torture, and sank low in his desk, hiding beneath the hood of his sweater.

Death would be dealt on this "secret admirer".

It was only long after Hakuren and Shuri left, and the teacher calmed the students down long enough to finish the lesson that Teito glanced at the other two valentines.

Lunchtime was upon him, but Teito didn't have the courage or strength to brave the cafeteria, so he found a secluded spot beneath the art building's stairs to eat a lunch of chips and water.

The next valentine was from a boy named Labrador. It took Teito a bit to remember, but he had met the upperclassman in the nurse's office. She hadn't been in, though he had been called, and he just decided to wait for her. Only, he wasn't alone. The boy Labrador was there, lying on one of the cots.

Their interaction was brief, but memorable. It started with Teito inquiring after the teen's health, because he looked a sickly pale, but Labrador had merely said his stomach ached a bit. He was lying, Teito was certain, but he did not pry, merely offered condolences. Because he knew the lost look that was written plainly on Labrador's face.

He'd worn one similar just a few years ago, when he learned his uncle passed on. The older teen had seemed so surprised by Teito's action that he suddenly shouted that he was the nurse's aide and could perform the check-up. It wasn't until Teito realized he was reading a page from a cheesy romantic novel while covering one eye that the boy was playing with him. The nurse had arrived then, chased him out, and they parted ways with Labrador saying he was sorry but it was just too fun to pass up.

Or something like that.

Why give him a valentine, Teito did not know and decided not to question it. He'd never seen the boy again after that and had completely written it off of his memory. It seemed Labrador had remembered, because the card read: "A candy for the perfect patient! Hope you are still in good health, Teito. Thank you."

The next was signed by two people: Razette and Castor. All it said inside was "Thank you." in crisp calligraphy, and Teito wouldn't have known who either was if not for the picture beneath it. He could still see the pencil sketch beneath the strong lines of ink, but it gave the overall image a loving quality.

The image was that of a mermaid clinging to the edge of a rock, her lower half submerged in water, and a boy that looked far too similar to Teito to be a coincidence offering her a hand up onto the land.

If he remembered, it had been October and the students had been allowed to dress up for Halloween. Teito just went as himself, though Mikage, the pirate, had slapped some cat ears on him. It was as he passed the auditorium that he heard a batch of boys laughing. He stormed in without much conscious thought, just knowing something was wrong, and sure enough this young girl, appearing his age with a shock of pink hair, was being bared down and harassed by a group of three boys.

Teito jumped in without bothering to ask for details.

Luckily Mikage had followed him to make sure he didn't throw the cat ears away, and helped him scare them off. While the blond went to go find a teacher, Teito stayed with the mute girl dressed as a mermaid and told her some of the folklore he learned about them in an old book he found at the library. It seemed to pull her a bit out from her scare, and he kept her distracted until the teacher finally showed up.

Teito had never given his name, and she never gave hers. How he ended up with a thank you note for something any decent person would do, he gave up on figuring out. Especially why it came in the form of a valentine. Castor was most likely her brother, or something.

Teito shoved the valentines in his bag and tried not to think about them for the rest of the day. Only, Hakuren refused to allow him the pleasure as they shared the last class of the day. He pressured and pressed, though Teito refused to give any information away unless Hakuren revealed the identity of the singing gram.

"I really don't know, Klein," he shrugged as he set up a slide with a leaf sample for the microscope. "I'm not in charge of collecting or organizing them. They just give me classrooms and names and I go and sing. And I highly doubt the kid that collected your order remembers who requested it in the first place. We had over a hundred singing grams to pass out. Almost didn't finish before lunch."

"I just don't like these types of jokes," Teito muttered beneath his breath as he doodled in the margins of his notebook.

"What makes you think it's a joke? You received other valentines. You obviously make more of an impression than you realize."

"But the other two valentines were _thank you_ notes. The singing gram though?"

"Yeah," Hakuren straightened up and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind his ear, pushing the microscope towards Teito. "The song choice was odd too."

"What do you mean?"

Hakuren rested his elbows on the counter, staring unseeingly at the poster of photosynthesis before him. "_Teenage Dream_, the song Shuri and I sang? The original lyrics are a tad different, more sexualized. The fact that whoever requested this song for you would pick the cleaner version, the far more innocent version, just... This girl loves you, I think."

Teito jerked violently in surprise and broke the slide with the microscope. "Shit," he hissed, ducking for some towels in a pathetic attempt to hide his blush.

"Nice going there, Casanova. That was our last slide."

"Then go ask for another!" He snapped as he delicately swept the thin glass into the trash.

"Hey, Mister Teacher's Aide! Casanova here broke our slide and we need another!"

"I'm no Casanova!"

The tall blond shifting through stacks of paper behind the teacher's desk groaned loudly and dropped his head onto the hard surface. It was with a tired sigh and a fist rubbing away the sleep from his eyes that the older teen got to his feet and shuffled toward the duo with obvious reluctance. He towered over the freshmen, in both height and bulk, though seemed oddly childish as he eyed the mess Teito was still cleaning with a peevishly bored expression.

"Okay, here's the deal." His voice was deep and rumbling, heavy as if he was sleeping behind those stacks of paper. "There are more slides. _Somewhere_. An' I don't feel like lookin' for 'em, let alone gettin' 'em for clumsy brats like you."

Hakuren responded with a sarcastic "Awww, such kind words, so sweet." at the same time Teito scoffed with "Aren't you supposed to be a teacher's aide?"

The blond with the dark blue eyes ignored them both, and glared at the microscope as if it had done him serious grievance.

"Class is out in ten minutes. Can we just not do this today?"

Hakuren huffed indignantly and crossed his arms. "You act like we do this every day."

"I get more shit from the two of you than the rest of the class put together." The blond mimicked Hakuren by crossing his arms as well, looking far more intimidating than the shorter blond could hope for.

"How so?" Teito inquired and received a raised eyebrow, as if the senior had just realized he was there.

"First of all, you," he stabbed a finger towards Hakuren. "My name is _Frau_, not Mister Teacher's Aide."

"It's your nickname!" He whined.

"A nickname is not supposed to be longer than your real name," Frau growled before turning his sights to Teito. "And _you_. _Stop_ correcting Bastien's tests. It was funny the first five times, but now he's got me proofreading all of them!"

"That's your _job_," Teito glared, unimpressed by the blond's show at power. "It's not my fault people don't know the damn language they speak. I'm just helping."

"Bastien learned English using the _dictionary_. Cut the man some slack."

"Okay, whatever," Hakuren waved a hand. "That stuff hardly makes us hardcore delinquents."

"Need I bring up the evolution slideshow incident? Or perhaps the blood type lab incident? Or how about when _someone_ let the _lobster_ get away?"

"I told you already," Teito hunched his shoulders and bristled like a cat. "It wasn't me! I don't know _how_ those rubber bands got in my backpack!"

"We still can't find it, Klein," Frau groaned as he slapped his forehead. "There is a vicious lobster on the loose in this classroom and we still can't find it! Do I need to mention the octopus too?"

Hakuren turned to Teito. "You are not good with animals."

"I told you it wasn't me, dammit! He got up there on his own!"

"Look," Frau placed a gentle hand on Teito's shoulder, settling the boy down with frightful ease. "All I'm saying is, that it's pointless for me to go looking for the stuff when class is about to end anyway. Let's give the teacher's aide a break for once, alright? It's a holiday."

Teito looked to Hakuren as the blond did the same. They shared a moment of silence, with only the drone of soft murmurs from their classmates rippling the peace. Hakuren shrugged helplessly and moved to begin packing away his things. At his example, a few of the other students began to pack up as well.

"Sorry, Frau," Teito sighed heavily. "We don't mean to be annoying. Or at least I don't. Sorry."

Frau smirked, something that curled the corner of his thin lips and softened azure eyes. It was on odd change, especially to his previous barely-contained indignant rage, so much so that it had Teito holding his breath as the hand the blond settled on his shoulder moved. The senior combed his fingers though chocolate locks, gently petting Teito as if _he mattered_. And that emotion bleeding into the tender act would have had the boy blushing if not for the sudden cuff upside his head, effectively breaking his trance.

"You're more trouble than you realize, Klein. Go get your shit together."

"R-right."

It was as Teito was zipping up his backpack that the last bell for the day rang, and he accompanied Hakuren towards the front entrance of the school. They said nothing to each other, though the silence wasn't awkward. Soon Shuri joined their group, smelling of shampoo with a faint underscore of chlorine. He had a gym bag slung over his shoulder.

"I thought you were going to stay for practice," Hakuren inquired. He took the bag from his cousin, giving the sophomore free hands to properly fix his clothing.

"Practice is for those that need practicing." Shuri shook his head like a dog to free it of clinging water. "My game is perfect already."

Hakuren scoffed. "Moron."

"What do you play?" Teito inquired from around the long-haired blond, startling the other at his sudden presence if the wide eyes and the tense posture was anything to go by.

"Water Polo," the older Oak muttered. He seemed to suddenly realize who he was, as an Oak did not _mutter_, and gestured vaguely towards the brunet while talking to his cousin. "So all it takes is a valentine gram to gain the good graces of Klein?"

"Leave him alone," the blond huffed as he shoved the gym bag back onto its owner. He smiled wickedly then, grabbing the brunet and holding him close to his chest – which made walking a tad awkward. "He's obviously lonesome without Mikage and he deemed me worthy as his replacement!"

"Is that so?"

"Not so! Hakuren, let me go!" The young teen shoved at his captor and managed escape. "I'm just," he shrugged. "Just thought I'd walk this way."

"Did you ever find out who sent you the singing gram?"

Hakuren smirked patronizingly, shrugging his shoulders and looking every bit the pompous asshole Teito had pegged him for in the beginning of the school year.

"Poor boy wouldn't know who they were even if he spent every hour of the school day with them. He's hopeless."

"I can figure it out!"

"Okay," the blond challenged. "Give me the names of the likely contenders."

Teito bit into his bottom lip, watching distractedly as his feet carried him out the front entrance of the school, down the grand steps, and across the courtyard. He stopped alongside the two Oaks, who glanced around for their ride home, and growled angrily when not a single theory sprung to mind.

"He obviously doesn't know," Shuri yawned his observation, stretching out long arms in the process.

"Okay, we can figure this out." Hakuren looked as pleased as a cat with a saucer of cream. If Teito had to guess, it was the mystery behind it all and not who really admired the brunet enough to send him a corny song. "Teito, are you a recluse in all your classes?"

The teen bristled and hissed, but responded in the affirmative.

"Even with the teachers?"

He nodded.

"Are you ever partnered up with anyone like in biology? Or sit next to anyone that insistently asks you for help or answers?"

A thought struck Teito. "Ah. Well, there's this girl in history that insists I let her draw me."

Hakuren raised an eyebrow, grinning. "And she is~?"

"Ah. I think her name is Ouka?"

Shuri choked on a laugh and Hakuren looked dejected and harassed. "Ouka is a menace. She does that to everyone."

"Only the pretty ones~"

"I will _hurt_ you, Shuri. Shut your yap." He turned his attention back to Teito. "What about outside of class? The cafeteria, library?"

The brunet shrugged.

"Honestly, Klein. You've been here half a year, how have you not made acquaintances outside of Mikage?"

"Didn't think I needed to."

Shuri glanced at his cousin. "He's making me depressed. Make him stop."

Teito glared at the two blonds as they bickered between each other. He'd had enough for the day – and it was supposed to be an _easy_ day, what with Mikage out of the country – and he really had to get started on his homework. He prepared himself to walk away, a generic goodbye on the tip of his tongue for the Oaks when someone across the courtyard, standing by the bus stop with what seemed like his friends, caught his attention.

"That guy over there always asks me for help in Calculus."

The reaction of the related differentiated, as Hakuren perked at the new information while Shuri blanched.

"A boy? Who, who? Tell me!"

"You're taking _calculus_? You're just a freshman!"

Teito spared Shuri a side-long glance, but ultimately answered Hakuren's question with a jut of his chin towards the bus stop.

"The guy, in the torn jeans and the white shirt. Blond. He's next to the guy with glasses, girl with the letterman jacket and the other guy who...is...currently looking over here."

"...Teito," Hakuren waved at the light-haired teen that caught them staring. He, in turn, smiled and waved back. "Do you not know who that is?"

"Who do you mean? I don't know any of them."

The older teen didn't seem to have told his companions that they were being watched, so the trio continued to stare, quite blatantly obvious now.

"Who sent the other two grams he got?" Shuri asked his cousin.

"I believe Labrador, and Razette and Castor signed the last one together. Teito said they were thank you cards."

"When did he last interact with them?"

Together, they looked to Teito to answer.

"Last semester, I think? Before November."

"So," Shuri crossed his arms over his chest, "Thanksgiving grams. Christmas grams. Why didn't they thank him then? Why on Valentines?"

"Because someone probably reminded them of a debt to be repaid."

"What are you getting at, Hakuren?" Teito quirked an eyebrow, unable to follow the blond's seemingly random trail of thought.

"Do you really not know who the other boy is, hanging out with the three? Because the boy with the light blond hair is Labrador – he was my orientation leader before school began – the girl is Razette – she's in my theatre class – and the boy in glasses is Castor, if the picture she showed me is anything to go by."

At the shake of Teito's head, Hakuren groaned and dropped his face into his open palms.

"You saw him just twenty minutes ago, Klein!"

Teito turned then just as the city bus pulled up and the teens began to shove themselves inside, packed tight like sardines in a can. From the distance, he couldn't make out his profile well, but...

"Holy... That's Bastien's aide? _Frau_," he breathed the name as memory began to fill in the fuzzy corners. "He's in my math class. And ROTC. And, I think he was that kid that helped me in the library. And showed me where all my classes were in the beginning of school." Teito pressed his lips together, a blush coloring his whole face. "I think he gave me his tater-tots when some kid stole mine."

They were silent as the information processed, though once Frau began his ascend into the bus Hakuren waved his hands frantically and shouted the older teen's name. Teito, completely mortified, grabbed at the blond's arms and attempted to steer him out of sight.

But Hakuren was stronger and loud when he wanted to be. Frau had one foot on the bus when he turned and saw them. And though Teito could not see his face very well, he could hear the _pleased smirk_ on the older teen's tone.

"Finally figured it out, Klein?" He shouted before disappearing into the crowd of high schoolers and behind closing bus doors. The over-packed vehicle steadily wheeled away, along with Teito's sanity.

Teito fell to the ground on hands and knees, pressing his forehead onto the cement.

"Oh, _god_!"

"This is incredible! And adorable! I hate you so much right now because I didn't know Frau swung that way, and I would've so made a pass had I known, but GOD DAMN!"

"Think he'd let me use this fiasco as inspiration for my screenplay? It's the easiest idea I've gotten yet." Shuri pointed to the distressed slop that what once was Teito Klein.

Hakuren prodded the brunet with the tip of his shoe. "Teito?"

"I have to see him in ROTC tomorrow! _God_, he's my squad leader. H-how can I– ? I can't go! Not after– after _this_!"

"What period do you have ROTC?"

"Sixth," the teen groaned as he sat on the floor, his head in his open palms.

"I have PE. I can totally sneak away and watch this spectacular."

"And I have video production."

Teito looked up to glare at Hakuren, though with the heavy blush he was sporting, he looked more like a pathetic cat after a bath. And it only made the blond smirk sadistically.

"And guess what I get to do? Go. Out. And. Film~"

Teito hung his head again, feeling his heart thump loudly in his chest and his hands shake with nerves.

Or perhaps it was anticipation.

"I really hate Valentine's Day."

_End._


	2. Sequel

**Title: Valentine's Fiasco**

**Pairing: Frito**

**Characters: Frau, Castor, Labby, Razette, Jio, Bastien, Hakuren (Mentioned: Teito, Mikage, Kurena)**

**Timeline: Alternate Universe, American High School, TEENAGERZ**

**Word Count: 2,072**

**Other: BLAHBLAH. Author's Note at end.**

* * *

It's not that Frau wanted to notice. He hadn't even been looking for it. It snuck up on him, exciting and terrifying like all good things in life.

Or something.

He knew what kind of person he was and would be by the time he entered high school, maybe even some time before then. So he never played up his character, never hid behind flashy rainbow-colored feathers, and definitely never pushed boundaries set in place. Sold as-is, his Dad explained to anyone who would listen.

Anyway, there's a point to all this. The point being: Frau never thought he'd find something that he wanted but couldn't own. That just wasn't his nature. What he wanted, he took, and he made sure to want only what he could take – this philosophy of his mainly centered around women, but that's that and this is not that.

Kinda.

He was naturally persuasive and stubborn when that failed him. But this couldn't be won with a few suave words or a forceful show of strength. He didn't know how it could be won, if he was honest with himself. And that should have deterred him completely, but he always caught himself watching, seeking, _reaching out and daydreaming_.

"Your pinning is suffocating, Frau," Castor airily commented as he flipped a page from the magazine he was reading with Razette. "Either open a window or take it outside."

For his smart remark at Frau's obvious distress, the pink-haired junior smacked his shoulder.

"Oh, for goodness– This cannot just be annoying me," he huffed indignantly, throwing himself back into the squeaky plastic chair. "I thought we put Frau's long-suffering sighs and lost puppy-dog looks behind us on February the fourteenth."

"My informant has told me," Labrador began, half distracted by the stack of papers he was poring over, "that our dear Teito-kun did not show up for school the following day. Thus our Frau is cranky."

"I'm not cranky!" The blond snarled, turning from the window overlooking the quad to glare at the petite teen sitting cross-legged atop their teacher's desk. The teacher in question, an aged man by the name of Jio Bishop, didn't seem to notice at all. Instead, he worked around his student as if the teen was merely an ornament displayed on his desk.

"Frau missed a whole weekend of _mega epic kawaii desu-desu L-O-V-E_ with Teito-kun~" The light-haired high schooler sing-songed.

"Who let Labrador watch anime again?" Jio muttered as be distractedly attacked a student's test with red ink.

"I thought you were on a reality television fixation now," Castor inquired with a raised eyebrow. His tone was lighter, less snappish than before, now that Razette had cuddled into his side, her lean dancer's-legs thrown over his lap.

"_Cake Boss_ just made me hungry."

"What happened to _Bridezillas_?"

"Those women are simultaneously terrifying and annoying."

"Hey," Frau grumbled, effectively gaining the attention of his two friends, the girlfriend, and teacher. "I thought we were talking about _me_."

"Oh, do _forgive us_, Master Frau!" His mocking tone made Razette giggle prettily, like wind chimes. "How could we ever be so insolent as to ignore his majesty?"

"You ass."

"Bite me."

"Cass," Frau grinned mischievously. "Not while your girlfriend's around. Don't want to make her jealous."

Castor wrapped a possessive arm around the curve of Razette's bright pink head, pulling her close to place a firm kiss to her brow. "She has no need to worry about _you_, of all people."

"Oh, I'm _sure_." Frau cast a glance towards Labrador, though the Significant Look went over the smaller teen's head. Castor caught it though. "What the hell are you reading anyways, Lab?"

"I read the words _painful arousal_," the literature teacher deadpanned, eyes still fixated on his correcting. "I don't think you want to know."

Castor groaned, "He's found fanfiction again."

"Lab," Frau began seriously, pushing away from his seat by the window to stalk after his friend. "We talked about this. We had an intervention and everything!"

"It's getting so much better, though!"

Frau snatched the papers from the pouting teen and shuffled through them.

"Okay, what kind of title is [Lover's Heat]?"

"A good one!"

"This shit is gonna rot your brain, seriously. You need to stop. It's not healthy. Why...why're there charts and pie graphs and...a picture of Da Vinci's flying machine smushed in here with your smut?"

Labrador smiled proudly, and snatched his papers back, giving Jio back the full use of his desk as he jumped down. "It's like this – the letters are really small, right? Unless you're holding it, you cannot make out the content very well without making it obvious that you're trying to read it, so I know who is attempting to do so easily. The charts and graphs are for teachers passing by, so they think I'm doing work and stuff."

"Opposed to reading smut, you mean."

"Exactly!"

Jio slammed his pen down, starting down his student. "Have you been doing that in _my classroom_, Labrador Ilyusha Krat?"

"O-of course not, Bishop-sensei!"

The man took his pen up again and stabbed it towards Labrador's general direction, attention back on his grading. "Your teachers will be told of his."

"Jio-sensei! Be reasonable!"

"So what are you going to do?"

Frau turned to Castor, who spoke, and was surprised to find their claimed little table in the corner of Jio's class littered with paper cranes made from the glossy pages of the magazine. He easily shook off their crazy, used to it already.

"Whaddaya mean?"

"Lunch is almost over." The russet raised a brow, "Don't you see him next period? You're obviously upset he hasn't promptly responded to your display of affection."

"Maybe it wasn't obvious," Frau shrugged helplessly, hands shoving deep into his pockets. "Maybe he's not interested."

"The boy is most likely confused, Frau," Castor, in a rare display of concern, attempted to smooth over Frau's ruffled feathers and bruised ego. It wasn't every day the blond was rejected, much less someone the blond avidly wanted.

"Being a freshman in high school is stressful and terrifying enough as it is, and this is not including his rumored _'only friend'_. To endure the social demand wrought upon entering students _alone_, well, it plays hell on one's emotions. And need I bring up the _maid_ he brought to Back-To-School Night? The boy is obviously a recluse with a particular, most likely _disagreeable_, home life," he muttered the last bit with a certain amount of disdain.

Razette gave the varsity baseball pitcher a fierce hug because of it. Castor smiled but said not a word of it, and chose instead to continue. "He might not be used to such direct attention, or the type of attention you are attempting to give him. He might not know how he's supposed to react. Or if he should react at all. Honestly, he looks far too innocent to know what you have in store for him."

"Ya make it sound like if I'm some incubus demon hellbent on defiling his young, lithe body, marking his smooth, soft, sun-kissed skin–"

Castor cleared his throat loudly.

Frau sighed and had the decency to look sheepish. "So... I should leave him alone then?"

"Let him come to you," Castor gently stated, feeling the need to go to his best friend and smooth out the frown from his face.

"This was easier when they threw themselves at me."

Castor had to laugh at that. "It's been three days, Frau. I think the streak of celibacy will do you some good."

What Frau refused to mention was that his silent, desperately denied yearning was far older than a few days. It had time to ripen and age, to dig roots in deep. He tried killing the feeling, tried salting and burning the ground around it but to no avail. He couldn't get away.

"Bitch."

"Moron."

"Boys, language."

The bell signaling the end of lunch rang and the students said their goodbyes to their homeroom teacher, Razette smiled and waved, and they all went to their separate classes. Frau found himself in Bastien's class early, as always, but with no work waiting for him.

"Hey, Sir. Nothing for me to do today?" The blond dropped his bag and pullover on the teacher's desk, the older brunet preferring the stretch of counter that was his own personal lab space at the front of the class to settle in.

_"Guten Tag, Frau. Nein, heute nicht_."

Frau frowned and did his best not to outright glare at his teacher. "Wha'd I say about the German?"

"To not to if I am going to be sayink your name." He smiled kindly, his softly aged face open and sincere.

"And wha'd you just do?"

"Oh. _Es tut mir leid_," he responded innocently. "I did not notice."

"Sure you didn't."

"You have a particular name, _mein junge_. I have nefer heard _Frau_ being used as a boy's name before."

"My parents must've been on crack," the blond muttered the same repeated phrase whenever the conversation about his name was brought up. Which was once a month, at best.

"Of course," the biology teacher smiled warmly before pulling out a bag of un-popped popcorn. "Be a dear and go make zese for me, please."

"Movie?"

"I do not feel like teachink today. I shall gife zee students rest."

"Lazy ass."

"I vill make you clean Zat Stain, _bengel_," the brunet teacher said with a smile.

That Stain: capitalized for a reason, it's a stain before Frau's time at the school, maybe even before Bastein's. It is an odd, clear mix of translucent white, green, fluorescent pink and brown, hairy mold patches literally [clinging] to the wall in the far corner of the classroom.

It was an empty threat, to make the blond clean something that looked so obviously like a health hazard, but he was never one to test the soft-hearted biology teacher's patience. Just in case.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry – you can put the claws away now."

When he came back from the science building's lounge, a small stretch of space huddled behind the four classrooms occupying the third floor, Frau found Hakuren talking casually with Bastien. The young blond was organizing a small stack of pages, pen dragging against the pages in a neat scrawl.

"–like someone kicked his puppy. It was adorable. I have it on tape, if you want to watch."

"Teito...," the biology teacher mused as he pressed his fingers against his temple, cheek and jaw. "Ah, zee small one zat had zee _seestern_ attached to his face, _ja_?"

"I am going to assume you mean _starfish_, Mister Altenbirke. You are horrible with remembering your own students. Okay, here is our project."

"Teito's not here?"

Attention was turned to Frau, though the blond had eyes only for the freshman with the cat-like violet-blue eyes. He tried not to frown at the boy's cruelly satisfied smirk.

"Disappointed?"

"How're ya turnin' your report in if he didn't show up?"

"The maid dropped off his half." Hakuren sighed, obviously disappointed at Frau's lack of proper response to the bait.

"_Fräulein_, popcorn," Bastien interrupted briefly.

"Yeah, here."

The favorite pet name used by the biology teacher didn't even register in the blond's mind, as he was avidly paying attention to the freshman's information.

"She said, and I quote, 'The young master has fallen violently ill of the heart and mind. Punishment shall befall the barbarian that has dared to curse our lord.' It was quite terrifying, actually. She said it completely serious; I couldn't doubt that she would carry out the threat for a second."

Frau frowned. "Did she say when he got sick?"

"Ah, no. But Mikage wrote me an email saying that Teito admitted to some ill feeling on Friday night? He's worried about him, so he's given me Teito's address to go check up on the kid and relay information. Apparently he hasn't been answering any of Mikage's emails and he's worried."

Now Frau glared, appearing every inch like a man on a mission.

"I'm goin' with you."

"_Shhh_," Bastien cut in angrily, pointedly jutting his chin towards the projector already playing _Finding Nemo _while the lagging students made it in time before the bell. "Mofie. Eizeer silence, or you go outside to talk."

Hakuren smiled sweetly and brushed his ponytail off his shoulder, already turning away from the senior to find his seat. "This is the best February ever."

_Fin_

* * *

**[A/N: REVIEWERS DEMANDED, AND I OBEYED (for once)! See? I just don't ignore you guys on purpose[hearts]. I'm just a really lazy responder to reviews ^~^;; Anyway, no Shuri in this one [/sadface]. I actually like writing him. Bastien's german was stolen from Google Translate, don't look too hard into it. Anyway, can I hear a ****_threequel~_****?]**


	3. Side-Story

**Title: You, Me and Us**

**Pairings: Cassette (Which I should have added in the other chapters...), ~****_forbidden~_**** Cassador (Again, other chapters...), as of now one-sided Frito**

**Characters: Castor, Frau, Labby, Hakuren, Shuri, Razette (Mentioned: Teito, Lem, Lirin, Castor's parents, Labrador's parents/uncle)**

**Timeline: AU-AHS-TEENS**

**Word Count: 2,575**

**Other: BLAHBLAH. Side-Story, nothing gets accomplished in this chapter. Author's note at end.**

* * *

Castor had once been in possession of a proud, arrogant nature. It came with the estate and the silver spoon stuck in his mouth. Around him, the children defined their importance by the wealth of their parents and the number of servants they commanded – Castor was among the top ranking. That kind of attention goes to a person's head and festers into something dingy and dark, rotten and oppressive.

And then Castor's mother, a woman with a decent disposition, at least when it came to doting her son with affection, passed one cold winter night, the young master lost his mind to grief, which gave way to anger – anger at his mother for being weak, anger at his father for not being able to save her despite all his wealth and power, anger at his servants for not caring enough, and anger at himself for being more useless than all of them combined.

Friendship and affection was a pointless thing, he realized thereafter. Shoving it away as if it were a horrific disease seemed to work for some time, even the servants drew gambles amongst themselves to see who would deal with their young master, and Castor just drifted further into directionless fury and misery.

Then he met Frau.

The young Hausen had caused too much trouble at his private school that the principal's hand was forced – expulsion. With only a public school nearby, Castor's father dumped him there as punishment. And of course, the boy hated it and held nothing back in showing his displeasure. Their official meeting involved Frau punching him on the nose for being a jackass to the younger children.

Their bitter rivalry continued for weeks, passed onto the next year, but he continued to search out the wild blond, even though all they ended up doing was squabble. The words, though, no longer held a bitter edge to them, and punches were always held back. It turned into who could come up with the more imaginative insults and how torn they could leave each other's clothes at the end of the day.

It was then Castor realized he had a friend, one who had accepted him at his worst and continued to stay despite of it. It was a gift he would not allow to be taken away from him.

The difference between their ages left them in two different schools for a year, and at their reunion in middle school, Labrador was at Frau's side, as if he had always been there. Castor felt oddly betrayed and resented them both in his confused, childish anger. Frau gave him a week to sulk before he beat some sense into him.

_"I brought you another friend to play with, stupid! What the heck is wrong with you?"_

Castor still remembered what Labrador said after.

_"It's fine, Frau. I will not force my friendship upon Xinglu if he does not want it. He is your friend, and I am trespassing. I wish you good health and long life." _

Then he turned, as if he could physically walk out of their lives. And Castor felt like a monster. Like he was that powerless angry child all over again, and he promised himself he would not be that again.

Labrador's shoulders looked so small from where Frau had him pinned to the ground.

_"My name is Castor!" _The fair-haired boy looked so startled and confused when he turned; it was the first time the russet found anyone adorable._ "Please, call me Castor."_

They were all friends since then, and Castor found he didn't mind the sudden inclusion. Where Frau was his sun, bright and shining, hot-tempered and carefree compulsion, Labrador was his gentle wind, soft and caressing, cool and playful. Though they both had their streak of wildness: Labrador throwing himself into reckless situations without seeming to realize, and Frau taunting reckless situations to come at him – he was the _mature_ one, the one that protected them and kept them mostly unscathed. But he really didn't mind at all, because here he was needed as Castor, not Xinglu Hausen the heir to the Hausen fortune, and he would protect the friendship entrusted to him.

At the death of Labrador's close family, it was the first time in a long time he felt like a helpless child again. Because Labrador was pushing them all away, refusing Castor especially – and how could he protect the younger teen if he would not allow them to stay in the same room any longer than it took for Labrador to run out of there? He was a scrambling, pathetic mess, fighting against demons he could not see, the same for when Razette was attacked by those teenagers and he hadn't been there to _protect her. _She had needed him, and he _wasn't anywhere near there_. The russet just wouldn't be able to continue without his friends; they were the family he wished he was born with.

And when a freshman boy, a random no one, did what he could not, he pledged repayment in any form. Though, he hadn't expected it quite like this.

"So can you? Please, please, please? With a cherry— oh, wait. You're allergic – with _mangoes _on top!"

Castor felt his eye twitching. It was an uncomfortable, uncontrollable twinge, and he rubbed at it without care or mind that his gloves were filthy with chalk and dusty earth. On the other side of the chain-link fence, Frau was expertly batting his winter-blues, and Razette was jutting out her bottom lip prettily, though what got him was the quite, knowing smile Labrador was directing towards him, half hidden behind the group. It was a smile that clearly said Castor would give in so what was with all this pointless stalling?

The russet groaned and threw his bat with the rest piled in a corner, stripping off the rest of his gear with a little more force than necessary.

"Fine! I'll drive you all to Teito's house." A chorus of cheers and high-fives followed. "But I expect everyone to cough up five bucks for gas, and if you, even for a second, _believe_ I will drive you home afterwards, you can forget it now."

Razette lead the way to the student parking lot, Shuri right at her heels with Hakuren and Frau not too far behind. They easily ignored Castor's command to wait, leaving the russet to run a hand through his sweat-damp hair and watch after them with fond exasperation. At his right, thin fingers curled around the chains, and Castor turned to find Labrador smiling up at him. Despite the years, the fair-haired teen never grew much, while Castor and Frau shot right up.

"Thank you, Xinglu."

Castor blamed the heat climbing into his face on the sun and his practice-cut-short. He fanned himself with his helmet and turned away, already heading towards the locker rooms.

"Don't mention it, Ilyusha. I'll be out shortly."

"I'll wait."

* * *

-Now go, kickin' & screamin'

* * *

Labrador's house was big, but he was never lonely. His parents weren't often around, but when they were, he was showered with love and affection, and the other times he had his adopted brother and sister to play with. Together, they caused much mischief, but the servants of the Krat family never complained. They found the laughter of the young children a balm to the stress of everyday life.

And with so much love, Labrador had much to give in turn.

Friends were plentiful wherever he went, though his cheery disposition could not keep the mugger from shooting both his parents. His father died there, in the parking lot, and his mother some time later in the ambulance.

For the sake of his younger brother and sister, Labrador did not allow the death of his parents to harden his heart. He had to be strong for the young children clinging onto him, because he was all they had. He couldn't cry. He couldn't be a child anymore.

From then, he withdrew a bit into himself, no longer to be seen running through the halls of the grand estate, or stealing sweets from the kitchen. He withdrew to the greenhouse his mother had once kept healthy and blossoming with life, and took up the shovel where she left off. He taught himself to be delicate with the plants, to speak with soft and kind words and handle them with even softer and kinder hands. He tended to them regularly, loved them in place of his mother and father, so when he heard from his uncle that the estate would have to be sold, and they would have to move, his heart splintered at the edges.

But he kept a strong façade, because Lem and Lirin were crying over losing the home they grew up in and he had to protect them. They packed their things and moved to a different neighborhood, one where the houses weren't so big and more closely packed together. It was fine though, because if he stood on the roof, he could see the estate and his mother's greenhouse. And he checked on it, every day after coming home from school.

Until one day, it just wasn't there anymore. He knew it was silly, that it was just a couple of flimsy plants, but it felt as if he lost his parents all over again. And a boy at school took notice despite Labrador's attempts to keep his usual impassive mask in place.

_"You look like you've been kicked in the gut. What's wrong?"_

That had been his first introduction with Frau, the blond boy who chased after trouble with a grin and a stick. Labrador had tried to deny it, bringing forth his overused smile, though it did not fool the boy. And maybe that was what he had been waiting for, for someone to call him out on his bluff. Lem and Lirin, his new teacher, they accepted his answers whenever he said he was fine, his uncle never asked. Not this boy though.

_"So what's wrong?"_

And he cried. He poured out everything he had held back, and dumped them onto this strange boy's lap. He screeched like a dying bird, but the boy did not run away, instead he held Labrador until his sobs petered out into amusing little hiccups, and that had been it. He felt lighter, he felt _happy_. And it must have showed, because Frau poked his cheek and grinned.

_"Now, _that's _a real smile."_

Labrador promised himself that he would always smile thereafter, and would do everything in his power to keep Frau smiling too, because if there was ever a boy to deserve a beautiful gift like happiness, it was this selfless blond. He purposefully acted silly in class, by either answering the teacher in his native polish language or making different voices to characters in stories he had to read aloud or tape his artwork upside down on the wall and tell the teacher it's meant to look like that, all to make Frau crack up with laughter.

And when their little band seemed to already have a previous member, he promised to make this grumpy-looking russet smile too – even if it meant being Frau's friend from afar. Thankfully, things didn't have to resort to that; Castor came around, much to the fair-haired boy's relief. With an extra person added to their number, there was never a moment without contentment. He thought it could last forever until the bitter sting of jealousy shook their stable foundations.

At the mere _mention _of Razette, Labrador struggled with his inner demons, constantly having to suppress the possessive need to latch onto his friend and hiss _mine_, because she made Castor _happy_. And isn't that what he wanted? His friends' happiness? He didn't want to be jealous, it was an ugly thing that hurt, and if he didn't do something soon Frau would notice he wasn't feeling like himself.

Because Frau had a sixth sense about those things, it seemed.

So Labrador, sly like a fox, got those two love birds together, and he cheered the loudest when they announced their relationship. Labrador learned to let Castor go little by little, and all was fine and dandy again. That is, until Lirin's death and Lem's suicide. That just…he couldn't anymore. Why did he keep losing? Was he cursed, never meant to be happy? He refused aid from Frau, and ignored Castor completely.

All he wanted was to crawl into a hole and die, when one day he heard the quiet _"It hurts, to lose someone. I know. But, my uncle always said that…we should cry, but we should also live for them. Because they probably want us to be happy in their place."_

_Happy in their place_. Just like that, Labrador realized what he was putting his friends through. That they shared his pain and felt it all the worse for the way he was acting. So he'd bring a smile back to their faces, starting with the young boy that unknowingly gave him the swift kick in the rear that he needed.

_"What's your name, little one?"_

Later, he'd find himself losing two more important people in his life, but for these, he didn't quite mind. It was all in the name of happiness, after all.

* * *

-This won't be the end

* * *

"I lose them in pairs," Labrador spoke quietly to himself, watching his sneakers scuff against the concrete.

"Did you say something, Labrador?" Castor inquired, but the fair-haired teen merely smiled and responded with a chipper _"Nope!"_

"Soooo," Frau drawled, leaning against Castor's quite obviously new vehicle, still sparkling shiny-new and license plates missing. "Shot-gun!"

"What?" Hakuren squeaked indignantly, angrily waving a piece of paper in front of the large blond. "I've got the instructions; I get to ride shot-gun!"

"Aaaand, now you don't." Frau moved to snatch the paper, though missed at Hakuren's quick step back. "Hey! Give it!"

At Labrador's soft chuckle, Castor slapped a palm to his forehead. "Neither of you rides up front."

"We won't fit if I ride in the back," Frau complained while having Hakuren in a loose chokehold. The freshman hissed and scratched in a vain attempt to free himself. Frau smirked suddenly, glaring smugly at Castor before turning to his smaller friend, gracing him with one of his better smiles – the one that said: 'No, seriously, I'm not up to any trouble, I swear it on my collection of _Playboy_.' "I know! Labby, you can sit on my lap."

"Okay, sounds fi—"

"_No_," Castor snapped angrily. With five pairs of eyes suddenly trained on him, the russet seemed to come back to himself, and opened the car doors as a means of distraction. "We are not breaking anymore safety laws than we need to – Frau, up front. Hakuren, give him the map. …_Hakuren_."

The young blond obliged, albeit reluctantly.

"If we pass a police car, one of you has to duck their heads," he pointed to the two young Oaks, Razette and Labrador. They saluted him in turn, and piled into the backseat, Frau already stretching out in the front. Once he let himself inside, he was bombarded by Shuri and Hakuren complaining that Frau had his seat too far back, the blond yelling right back that he didn't. Razette and Labrador were fighting over what radio station should be playing, and safety laws be damned, his new car too, Castor was running into the first tree he saw.

Maybe then his headache would go away.

_Finis_

* * *

**A/N: So, I don't know what this is... I started writing, and then it turned out to be like a background story? Figured I might as well upload. BUT AT LEAST THEY'RE OUT OF THE PARKING LOT! Yay? Anyway, we'll see Teito next chapter, promise. Also, I feel like I put Labrador on this huge, marble pedestal with a silk cushion stuffed with goose-feathers, while I kicked a soapbox in Castor's general direction. I feel bad. Oh well. I'm essentially giving him both Razette and Labrador so BLEH. That's it for now, buh-bai.**


	4. Threequel, Part One

**Title: Meet the Parents**

**Pairing: Frito**

**Characters: Frau, Cas, Labby, Hakuren, Razette, Shuri, Kurena, Mikhail (Mention: Mikage, Miroku)**

**Timeline: AU, AHS, TEENZ**

**Words: 3,222**

**Other: Unbeta'd. Sorry for mistakes. Translations at end. Part 1 of 2 (This was just getting really long, and I didn't want to update a monster.)**

**A/N: SORRY ABOUT THE FILLER LAST CHAPTER. Love the love though c: Thanks guys~ Here's this. There are reasons for accents, and I _DID NOT_ forget to write them in for some people at certain parts. Remember that. I'll shut up n ow. HAVE FUN~~**

**EDIT: Re-Uploaded 'cause of stoopid formatting being stoopid.**

* * *

"He's got a helluva bigger one than you do, Cass."

"It's not about _size_, Frau. …I cannot believe I just said that, _oh dear god—_"

"So how do we get in?"

"Frau, you must be a gentleman and go through the front, obviously. Permission must be asked first, though."

"Permission, shmission, Labby. I got a talented tongue; I'll open her up real quick."

Frau leaned across Castor's lap and rolled down the driver's window, jabbing a finger to the intercom and waved at the camera pointed at the estate's gate entrance.

"Hey! Party of six to see the young lord of the estate."

"Move, you imbecile," Castor hissed, shoving at the blond only to have a younger blond crawl over his back to get his shot at the intercom.

"Hi, my name is Hakuren, and Mikage—"

The gates before them opened quietly, disappearing into the shrubbery surrounding the tall wall.

"…So the secret password is Mikage?" Frau muttered, leaning onto the dashboard to get a better look at the house.

A gravel driveway lead up to the main house: a large structure constructed with mostly Romanesque designs. The surrounding trees were wild and overbearing, casting too much shadow on the estate – with the sun settling into a soft gold and orange, the place looked like a castle from a dark forest in a twisted fairy tale. Castor shoved Hakuren back into his seat, Frau already settled in his place, and slowly eased his vehicle towards the main entrance, where a woman was already waiting for him.

Castor parked the car off to one side, though no one made a move for the doors until he stepped out, and they followed like children frightened of a new place. He took the lead, Frau right at his shoulder, and the rest trailing behind the blond. The woman at the entrance was gone, but the large, wooden door with the serpent knocker was left wide open.

They settled on the carpet of the entrance hall, a basic room with not so basic decorations. The children let their curiosity overpower them, and they wandered. Frau and Castor stayed by the door.

"…what do we do?"

"Shout really loud and see who comes runnin'?"

"That will not be necessary."

The two older teens nearly jumped from their skins and turned quickly to find a petite maid, dressed in the full ruffled ensemble. She bowed respectfully, eyes kept downcast and blank, soft lips pressed into a fine line and entire body rigid. Her soft light brown hair was streaked with natural highlights, pulled properly away from her soft face and dark, almost black eyes. She moved as if every movement had to be considered carefully. Precisely graceful. She walked through the boys and stationed herself in the center of the room, back towards a room furnished with couches and chairs that should be seen but not touched, much less sat on, and even more priceless decorations made of fragile material.

"I recognize the blond one with the strange violet eyes," the tone was delicate and flat, something that hardly rose above a whisper and seemed very much misused. "The rest of you, no."

"My name is Hakuren Oak," the blond freshman presented himself, dragging his cousin by the collar to the maid's line of sight which never left Frau and Castor. "This is my cousin Shuri."

"And my name is Labrador Ilyusha Krat," the fair-haired teen bowed his head, a pleasant smile gracing his features.

"Ah, this is Razette Nöel," Castor took the junior's hand and kept her protectively at his side. "I am Xing-lu Hausen, though please call me Castor, and this—" he vaguely motioned to his blond friend.

"Frau. Pleasure ma'am."

"My name is—"

"Miss Kurena! Absent-minded girl, vhere have you—" From a hallway, hidden to the side of the grand staircase leading to the rooms above, entered a tall gentleman, early thirties, dressed all in black. He had dirty blond hair combed away from his face, though stubborn strands swept across his forehead from the sideways split, and behind thin glasses, his eyes were the color of red wine. He set a gloved hand to his narrow hip, raised an eyebrow, and glared at the group. "Open the door and ze strays just come _crawling_."

"They are guests of our young master," Kurena explained delicately as the man crossed the carpet to stand at her side. "That is Hakuren and Shuri of the Oak family. Labrador Ilyusha of Krat. Razette of Nöel, Xinglu of Hausen – otherwise known as Castor – and," her lips twitched in an almost smile, "Frau."

"You expect me to believe that the young master affiliates wis," he gestured to Frau vaguely, his nose wrinkled as if smelling something rotting, "zat?"

"Oh, and you're such a _pleasure_ to be around, _verdammtes arschloch_?"

The man grinned, something feral and not quite sane. "_Grebanyy rebenok imeyet gryaznyy rot, delayet eto ne?" _

"Sir Mikhail," Kurena's voice, though quiet, cut sharp like a slap. "That is no way to speak to children."

"Yeah," Frau began indignantly, arms crossed across his chest. "If you're gonna insult me, do it in a language I understand."

"_YA by ne stal tratit' svoye dykhaniye na tokoy grubyy yazyk_."

A subtle elbow was rammed into the butler's gut.

"_Fine_. So," Mikhail's voice still heavy with his accent, "vhy are zese children dragging dirt all over ze Persian carpet?"

Simultaneously, everyone looked down at their feet. Mikhail coughed quietly into his fist and sought patience from god.

"They are here to see the young master."

"Did you tell zem zat ze young master is ill and should not take visitors?"

"No, because you rudely interrupted me."

"Many apologies, Miss Kurena, but if you've pleasantly forgotten ve run a _household_, not a _daycare_."

"The young master," Kurena's tone dropped so darkly that even a bottomless pit would seem light in comparison, and she trained her blank, dark eyes on the older man, "is _ill_. He has been…_not himself _in over three days. If this—"

"You do not zink I do not know zat?" Mikhail spat, tone hard and eyes blazing like wicked infernos. "You do not zink—" He bit down on his tongue, looking frenzied and wild as he searched the hard curves of Kurena's face. After a moment, he just looked lost and desperate, though that was quickly discarded for overcompensated anger. "_Chert rasstraivayet zhenshchinu_! Take zem to ze draving room – I do not want zem tracking dirt everyvhere. Zey vill be promptly escorted off ze estate at five. No later, do I make myself clear, Kurena?"

"Crystal, Sir."

"I shall go to see ze young master. And I vant you in ze kitchen once you're done," Mikhail snapped, clearly agitated, and continued to mutter harsh Russian beneath his breath as he stalked back the way he came in.

"Some snacks'll be much appreciated, Jeeves," Frau called to the man's retreating back, earning him a _"yestʹ derʹmo, krestʹyanskiye!" _from somewhere deep inside the house. "Seems like a real nice guy," Frau cooed.

Castor eyed him wearily. "You're going to get us thrown out."

"Nah, Kurena gets me."

The maid nodded seriously and gestured up the grand staircase. "If you will follow me."

Every odd trinket and painting they passed was watched with vague curiosity, as if they had taken a field trip to a museum rather than a friend's house. Closed doors lined each side of the wide hallway, and there were many more as the group followed Kurena through the twists and turns of the mansion.

"Miss Kurena," Castor spoke after some time, the seemingly endless corridors twisting his perspective on reality. His own home _definitely _wasn't built like a maze as this one was. "May I ask a question?"

"Certainly, Lord Castor."

"How many are employed to this estate? It's quite large, yet…empty."

"It is just I and Lord Mikhail."

Castor blanched, where the rest of the group just listened curiously. "_Two _servants? Just, for all of _this_? How is this place running?"

Kurena didn't glance over her shoulder, though it seemed as if she had eyed them all anyway. "The young master, he appreciates a clean home – he aids us whenever his studies permit. We tackle it one room at a time."

"But for a home this large, there has to be more help."

"We once had a staff of twenty, Lord Castor." Her tone was flat and emotionless. "But, because of our young master's circumstances, the staff was quite hostile towards him. They were disposed of quickly."

Labrador picked his way across the lush carpet, eyebrows furrowed. "You mean…_fired_, yes?"

"…yes, of course, Lord Labrador."

"Just Labrador, Ma'am."

"Wait," Frau shoved his way to the front of the line, walking between Castor and Kurena. "What circumstances does Teito have?"

Kurena eyed him with a fish-eyed stare that had the skin crawling down his spine. "That is a story for the young master to tell, Lord Frau. I cannot say without his consent."

They were let into a large, open-aired room, and unlike the rest of the house, it had a more comfortable, lived-in feel. The couches were plush and a basic brown, the low coffee table undecorated. Bookshelves lined any available wall, filled with not only books, but movies, CDs, video games, and the odd toy or picture. There was a built-in fireplace that didn't look used, with a large television hanging over.

Also, unlike the rest of the house, this room was left in neat chaos, with books and games thrown about the table and sofa, artistic tools left wherever-they-may-fall on the table by the windows overlooking a small pond infested with waddling ducks.

"Duckies," Labrador cooed, and that had Razette running towards the large bay windows, shyness be damned.

Hakuren, with Shuri at his side, were sweeping across the bookshelves.

"Think Teito will let me borrow some of these?" Hakuren muttered, turning over an ancient volume of human anatomy in hand.

"He's not a library, Hakuren." Shuri sat on his heels and wriggled out a book on early European conquerors. "I say we just take them."

"Guys," Castor sighed as he dropped himself on the couch, moaning obscenely as he melted into the cushions. "Behave yerselves," he muttered half-heartedly, eyes shut and hanging onto consciousness by a thread.

Frau watched them for a moment, saw that they wouldn't break anything at that precise moment, and turned back to Kurena. "So, Tei?"

The maid narrowed her dark eyes, head tilting back so she could properly look at the tall teen, and made a small noise in the back of her throat that did not sound friendly. "Wait." And she turned around and left.

* * *

-Can't love without a fight;

* * *

Mikhail padded along the corridors on cat's paws, his presence only stirring the soft motes floating in the dimming afternoon light. He knew the route to his young master's room, every single route, as if there were signs to guide the way. Teito had once owned one of the master bedrooms near the main entrance, something the size of a small apartment building.

It was once the butler had caught wind of the conditions in which his poor young master was living in that he had the rooms changed. No longer was his charge easily accessible, and he was closer to Mikhail's rooms specifically – because of his status, he was separated from the rest of the staff. Even when they were forced to entertain guests, the master of the estate specifically, he never gave away the location of Teito's private rooms – the man didn't need to know anyways.

Mikhail was ecstatic when those barbarians were finally removed from the grounds; Kurena was a devil he could handle, and Teito was happy to have her around, so her presence wasn't too infuriating. And, besides, he did need help keeping the giant house clean.

Americans and their need to have everything _big_. It was impractical.

A nondescript door was pushed open, well-oiled hinges giving way with barely a whisper. The room was dark, curtains drawn; the soft hissing of a humidifier was the only real noise in the room. Mikhail tapped towards the hidden window, fluffing the drapes open enough to allow a sliver of afternoon sun to peek through. The lump on the four-poster bed didn't stir, and that nearly ticked a smile on Mikhail's cruelly handsome face.

His gloved fingers danced along the oak frame of the bed, the silken Egyptian sheets, and across the rough heavy stitch of a wool blanket. It was peppered with small white snowflakes. Mikhail cupped a thin shoulder over the blanket, skimmed his fingers into chocolate hair. The warm body stirred, and red-rimmed emerald eyes caught onto his, their clear depths swimming with exhaustion and confusion.

"Mi'hal? Wass 'rong?"

"Young master," the butler's voice softened, his usually heavy accent nearly unrecognizable. "How are you feeling today?"

His wine colored eyes strayed to the nightstand by the bed, unoccupied fingers skimming across bright orange bottles and glasses dyed dark – medicine, conventional and not. He knew nothing there would help his young master – he didn't need Kurena's unhelpful little remarks about it, the witch – but a man could hope. He just wanted his young lord to feel better, he wanted to make it right – it wasn't within his power to do so, however.

"Eh, fine, I 'ink." The boy sniffed pathetically, trembling like a leaf on a twisted thin branch. Mikhail raised the quilt higher over the boy. "'ey, Mikhail?"

"Yes, my young lord?"

The boy squirmed like a worm on hot pavement, the request clear in his eyes through refused to pass dry, chapped lips. A smile, warm and kind, pulled at thin lips, and Mikhail raised the wool blanket, slipping beneath it. He settled against Teito's side, well-polished shoes hanging off the edge of the bed. An arm draped over his young charge, keeping it over the sheets and blankets. Teito moved restlessly for a moment but settled warmly against Mikhail, wheezing heavily as he nuzzled against the butler's chest.

"Comfortable?"

"Shuddup."

Mikhail chuckled lightly, hand gentle against the curve of Teito's skull. The blond stayed silent for a long moment, taking in the warmth of the room, bed and body at his side, remembered the cold winter winds he had to endure in his homeland, and pulled the young boy closer. Teito shivered and coughed in turn.

"Young master," he whispered and hoped the words wouldn't be heard. "You've guests waiting for you."

Teito's eyebrows furrowed, lithe body tensed as if preparing for an attack. "…but Mikage's in England."

The butler leaned forward and pressed a smile into tousled hair. "You have more than one friend, my young master."

"…Miroku doesn't count," the brunet's voice dripped with controlled disdain.

"I wasn't referring to your father."

"Don't call 'im that," Teito groaned, drawing his knees up.

"Master Miroku requests—"

"He doesn't request," Teito tucked his chin to his chest. "So who's here?"

"Two young men, three boys and a young lady, I do not remember their names."

"'course you do," Teito sighed heavily, his whole body heaving with the movement. "You even remember how much silverware's in this house."

Two hundred and fifty seven – Mikhail's still certain that the missing forks are hidden somewhere in the library, but he can't find them yet.

"I don't like any of them," the blond muttered into brown locks, stroking Teito's hair gently.

Teito smirked. "I could hear you yelling from here. You like one of 'em."

Mikhail threw himself out of the bed and padded towards the walk-in closet, throwing open the doors and looking over the selection. Nearly everything inside was fine and expensive, some still hanging with their tags and bags, tailored suits still wrapped in paper like Italian deli, and shoes that never touched dirt.

And then there was the smaller section of Teito's more favored clothes, normal pieces bought at the local retail store, well-worn and frayed from over-washing, shoes scuffed with dirt and everyday grime. Mikhail passed his fingers over the generic cotton, rubbing it between the cashmere silk of his gloves.

There was no denying it, his young master was unique and worth every hardship it took Mikhail to escape his demons.

A basic tee, with a cartoon of a pony, and some loose sweatpants were acceptable clothing to greet Teito's friends, Mikhail thought, as they were unimportant and didn't warrant his young master's efforts to look proper. He brought them to the bed, where the brunet was already sitting up, rubbing his fists against his swollen eyes. Mikhail could tell the young boy felt horrible, and asked him again if he was well enough to receive guests.

"I think I know who 'ey are," he mumbled around a yawn, "Or, some of 'em. Is one of 'em named Hakuren?"

"Yes, my young master."

"And…," the boy chewed on his bottom lip. "Another one's named Frau?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"I should meet 'em, an' give Haku the bio report due Monday."

Mikhail fitted the shirt over Teito, his hand passing down the purple unicorn telling the word to read a book. "Today is Monday, young master."

Emerald eyes were startled wide, shining bright and more alive than the past three days. "_Wha?_"

"Kurena went to the school with your report, my lord. Settle down, think of your health." He took Teito's hands into his own and helped the boy onto his feet. "If you are feeling unwell, say the word and I'll have them all thrown out."

"'mm hungry, Mikhail." The boy said it meek and weakly, and it tugged harshly against the butler's heartstrings. He squeezed his young charge's hand, and led him out of the suffocating room.

"That's good, young master. Your appetite returning can only mean that you are getting better. Come, Kurena should have deposited the delinquents in your drawing room by now."

"Be nice."

"As you wish, young master."

They met with Kurena in the hall, the two servants nodding seriously to one another.

"Did you—?"

"Yes, Sir Mikhail. Do not question my intelligence."

The silence that followed thicken, with the two attempting to intimidate each other with a stare alone, though Mikhail had his upper lip raised, snarling quietly like a wolf on the prowl.

"Okay, I get it," Teito coughed weakly into his fist, the other tightening around Mikhail's hand. "Scary Russian mobster and Romanian assassin, living under one roof, butting heads, taking names, all in the name of their young _herre_. I wanna sit down. Can I sit down?"

"_Te pot ucide în somn_," Kurena muttered softly, words flowing smoothly between her lips.

"_Poprobuy menya, suka_," Mikhail snapped, feral grin threatening to stretch.

Teito swayed in place, and the blond stepped in to support the young boy.

"I _can_ understand everything you're saying, guys. You're not allowed to fight," the brunet sighed heavily, a hand braced against his head to keep it upright, "and you're not allowed to kill each other."

"Of course, young master."

"Whatever you wish, _moya ptitsa_." He offered Teito's captured hand to Kurena, and the exchange was made. "I'll go prepare a light meal for you, and some snacks for our guests."

"Come, young master. They're expecting you."

"Thanks," Teito sniffed, blinking away reflexive illness tears. "Both of you. Thank you."

* * *

Frau (German):

**verdammtes arschloch **- fucking asshole

Mikhail (Russian):

_grebanyy rebenok imeyet gryaznyy rot, delayet eto ne_?  
**гребаный ребенок имеет грязный рот, делает это не**?  
fucking child has a dirty mouth, does it not?

_YA by ne stal tratit' svoye dykhaniye na tokoy grubyy yazyk_  
**Я бы не стал тратить свое дыхание на такой грубый язык**  
I would not waste my breath on such a coarse language

_Chert rasstraivayet zhenshchinu!_  
**Черт расстраивает женщину!**  
Damn frustrating woman!

_yestʹ derʹmo, krestʹyanskiye_  
**есть дерьмо, крестьянские**  
eat shit, peasant!

_ispytay menya , suka_  
**испытай меня, сука**  
try me, bitch

_moya ptitsa_  
**моя птица**  
my bird

Kurena (Romanian):

_te pot ucide_ - i can kill you

Teito (Danish):

_herre_ - lord

* * *

**a/n: no, they're not really a russian mobster and romanian assassin. [coughs]**


	5. Threequel, Part Two

**Title: Warm Me Up**

**Words: 9, 112 (Long update is long)**

**Other: Unbeta'd. I think I might've confused Mikhail and Mikage's name once in here. Translations at the end. And some good'ol Angst/Comfort up in here :d**

**A/N: LOVE ME, MY MINIONS! LOVE ME! I BRING YOU YOUR MANNA! **

* * *

Frau was pacing. He was pacing and he couldn't stop. Shuri and Razette had taken over the television, playing against each other in one game or another. Hakuren was reading some manga he found stashed with the comic books, while Labrador built multi-colored structures with the Legos he found in a bucket half-hidden by a stack of board games. Castor all put slept on one of the couches, long legs hanging over the edge. And Frau was wearing out a trail in the carpet.

"Can you stop doing that, Frau," Hakuren muttered from his spot on a beanbag chair next to the bookshelves, around him were the many volumes of the title he was reading. "You're making me anxious and he's not even my boyfriend."

"Teito is _not_ my boyfriend."

"Yes, he is," the boys chorused, though from Castor it sounded more like _"Yeh, hee ahs."_

"Why are you guys even _here_?"

"Hey!" Hakuren glared from over the pages of his manga. "I was asked by Teito's bestest friend ever to come check up on him. I dragged Shuri 'cause, well, I didn't want to walk home alone."

"He's scared of the dark," the older Oak informed Razette as she made her character throw Shuri's across the screen. "Dammit! You won't get away with that, Pinkie."

The girl merely hummed a taunting little hymn.

"Your _mom _is scared of the dark. _I _just don't like it. I'm adorable – the perfect target for rapist and serial killers; Shuri's just cannon fodder."

"Hey!"

"I came along because I'd thought it would be fun." Labrador revealed his crown made of Legos, placing it delicately on his head and moving on to make a scepter. "And _you _asked Castor for a ride. Razette's here because it'd be rude for us to come and not invite her. Plus, she likes Teito too. I do not know why you ask."

Frau rubbed a hand against his temple, and had to forcefully move himself away from the door. He dropped himself onto the cushioned bench by the windows, spotting the sun high above the horizon. His leg jittered with nerves so he stood up and walked the perimeter of the room, twice.

"For the love of—" Castor dragged himself up into a haphazard sitting position, sleepy amber eyes glaring daggers at the blond. "Frau, look at me."

Frau shook his head at first, though with a stern _"Look at me, Frau" _he did so, albeit unenthusiastically.

"Okay. Are you looking at me?" The blond nodded. "Stop acting. Like a. Psychopath. Okay?" He left off with an obviously false chipper tone and threw himself back onto his designated couch _pointedly_. Meaning: _not to be disturbed_.

Frau muttered something in a darkly rush of German, stalking towards the lone table at the far window and dropping himself into the seat provided. As he was still bored, and yes, nervous, he took the colored pencils left behind, a scrap of paper from a sketchbook that had seen better days, and began to doodle.

At first, it was just hard scratches with cornflower blue, and then the lines curved, expanded and exploded across the page. He picked up another pencil without looking, a dark goldenrod, and underscored the blue. A dark candy apple red followed, feather-light against the thick sheet, little flicks of tongue, flittering leaves, slices of apple, the flickering tail of a bird. His bird. His purring, baby bird with a sleek metallic pearl finish, spark black underbelly. He added those colors too, putting them against one another, twin dragons circling and snapping, baring gleaming fangs and snaking tongues.

It was all lost then.

Colors blurred and swooped in chaos: green snakes snapping at golden lions with manes made of orange sun, blue stars bursting against the shattered brilliance of a mauve comet. Yellow waves showered fat raindrops against a ravenous black dog that circled the edges of its confinement. After him, a golden cat followed, leaving an ochre trail of dead little mice.

"Oh."

The quiet rush of breath startled Frau's heart into his throat, his entire body jerking back into consciousness too quickly that the saffron pencil in his hand snapped in half from the force of his tightened fist.

"'is an angel, right?"

Diamond-blue eyes glanced up from dusty blond eyelashes, stealthily dropping the broken pencil in a small bucket teetering with paintbrushes. Teito didn't notice. His eyes were busily tracing the different colors and lines, connecting stars to make a design. His nose was red, brightly so against the pasty color his healthy tan had turned into. His hair was a flop of mess as if it hadn't seen a comb in days, sticking up in amusing flicks. There was heavy bruising under his eyes, though they still shone bright and clear like jade stones.

Or, at least Frau thought so.

"Ah, angel?" The blond brought his attention to the scrap of paper he was doodling on, trying and failing to find the lines that would form anything resembling an angel. "Where?"

"'ee, 'ere the 'urple fans out?"

"…no. I used purple?"

"'eally? Look—" Teito spun the paper around so Frau, essentially, looked at it upside down. He sniffed lightly, and held back a sneeze as he brushed a finger over the sweep of dark lavender. "Wings."

"Oh, shit." Frau chuckled, now following the golden that composed a spear, blue and red that formed something of a face, the grey and white of a robe. "I thought I was drawin' a dinosaur."

"You got a weird tech—" Teito braced a fist against his nose, fighting and winning against a sneeze. "Technique."

"Nah," Frau picked up a slate blue pencil and began connecting the dots. "I just don't really pay attention to the colors I use. Most of the time it ends up lookin' like kindergartner scribbles."

"'eres skill there, Frau. You jus' need to learn the rules before you break 'em."

"Now you sound like my freshman art teacher."

"'ats Mikhail's," Teito waved to the beat-up sketchbook on the table. "'e can teach you if you ask."

"I don't think your butler likes me very much."

"'e likes you." Pause. "I think."

"And you?"

Some color and life came into Teito's cheeks, and the blush spread to his head, causing him to sway in place at the sudden rush of blood. He blinked reflexive tears and muted his coughs in his chest. The effort shook his small frame, and the boy hunched into himself in a vain attempt to keep the pain at a minimum.

Across the table, Frau sighed inaudibly. He wanted to smile, but knew it was probably an inappropriate reaction at the moment. He should not be finding Teito looking like death warmed over adorable. That was probably not a healthy.

A healthy reaction, the blond surmised, was to pull off his own sweater, remove the distance between them, and help the boy into the warm article of clothing. Which he did, and Frau allowed himself a grin at how drenched Teito was in his hooded sweatshirt. The sleeves rolled well past his fingertips, the collar hung loose around his neck, and the hem hit a point above his knees.

"Aww," Frau cooed, mercilessly ruffling the brunet's already disheveled mop of hair. "You look like kiddy tryin' on daddy's clothes."

"I can break all 'eh fingers in your hand wi'out exerting much effort, Frau." His threat was ruined by his sniffles.

"Should you really be out of bed?" Frau asked instead of responding, his fingers now carding and petting down the young teen's wild hair. Teito, in turn, leaned into the touch like a cat desperate for affection, head turning and nuzzling into the flat, hard stretch of Frau's abdomen. "You look like shit."

"See if I ev'r treat you nicely 'en you get sick, asshole," he muttered against cloth warmed by skin, smelling fresh of laundry detergent.

Frau grinned down to the boy, and once he was certain that he wouldn't see, Frau smiled kindly and warmly. He slipped his fingers over Teito's forehead, feeling the boy tremble against him and sigh.

"Well, you don't have much of a fever. That's good."

"'ingers are cold."

"Poor circulation."

"'is nice."

"Now you're scaring me." Frau paused for a moment, wondering why he felt as if he'd forgotten something important. Then it came with the silence of the room – there were not catcalls, wolf-whistles, teasing and overall stupidity he had come to associate with his friends plus the tagalongs. He looked over his shoulder to find the room empty. "Where'd everyone go?"

"Castor an' Labrador weren't 'ere when I came in. Haku, Shuri, an' Razette went with," Teito heaved a heavy sigh, exhausted from just talking, "Kurena to feed the ducks."

"Well, that's a hell of a coincidence."

"'eh?"

"C'mere," Frau helped the teen out of his seat and steered him towards one of the couches. He dropped the boy into the most comfortable looking one, all but manhandled him into lying down, and sat down on the coffee table facing him. "Seriously, you look like you're about to pass out. Are you okay?"

"'mm jus' tired. An' hungry." Teito dropped an arm over his eyes, the other cradling his upset stomach. "Don't 'member the last time I ate."

Frau sat there in silence for a moment, arms hanging over his knees as he stared at the ground. If there was ever a moment where he felt useless and imposing, which was _rare _if impossible, it would have to be now. He just had not one clue how to be maternal or nurturing or whatever the hell this situation called for. At his home, the only soft sympathies that were exchanged for one or the other having an illness revolved around "Stop acting like a fucking pansy, you're not dying" and "_You're _complaining? What about those kids on TV with the cancer? You don't see _them _complaining".

And then the ever memorable trip to the hospital: as soon as Guido opened his eyes, Frau was there, smiling at his surrogate father. Post-surgery, the man was confined to the hospital bed, too weak to even lift his head, connected to an IV drip and oxygen mask and looking as if he'd been run over by a sixteen wheeler. And the first thing out of Frau's mouth was "See? Told you you were fine. It was just your appendix, you fucking baby."

So much love.

Frau was out of his depth here. And all he could think to do was slip his hand back over Teito's forehead, and gently berate the boy for his stupidity in getting sick on a weekend.

"If you havta get violently ill, try doin' it during a school week. I mean, really. What kind of teenager are you? Turnin' in your homework too, no less. Jesus, kid. You need work."

Teito barked a laugh that sounded painful, and his arm moved from over his eyes, unsteady fingers curling around Frau's wrist to keep his hand in place. "I care 'bout my grades, Frau."

"C's are just as good as A's."

"Good coll'ges don't like C's." He peeked open an eye and just stared at Frau for a moment before rustling restlessly against the couch. "Can you not sit there? You look lik'a shrink."

Frau felt the corner of his lip tug up; he kept his face passive, however. "And where should I sit?"

Biting his lip, Teito tugged the blond's hand over his eyes. He scooted against the back of the couch, leaving surprisingly ample room for one more. "Make yourself useful. 'mm goin' through hot an' cold stages 'ere an' it's pissin' me off."

Allowing himself a quiet chuckle, Frau settled onto the space provided. On his side, one arm wrapped around Teito's small waist, the other tucked beneath as a makeshift pillow for a floppy brown head of hair. The senior couldn't decide what was more adorable: that Teito was trying to hide his red face by nuzzling into his shoulder, or that the brunet basically used the "I'm-saying-I'm-cold-but-what-I-really-mean-is-that-you-should-hug-me-now-dumbass" trick that the female population had perfected.

He'd settle on both.

Teito's breathing settled and evened out soon enough, his labored and phlegm inhales gone, and Frau had thought the brunet just knocked out like a light when a quiet question was murmured into his shoulder.

"What was that?"

"Valentine," he repeated, the word muffled. With a sharp exhale, he turned to blink tired eyes at the blond's chest. "Why'd you send it?"

"I was hoping that part would be obvious."

"Bu', I mean—"

"Don't ask me to explain," Frau sighed, twisting his wrist so he could gently tug at brown locks. "'cause fuck if I know." And Frau didn't like that he didn't know. Whenever he set off on a new conquest, he _made certain _he knew what he wanted out of the relationship, be it meaningless sex, something steady, or to borrow her parent's pool. He was floundering on unstable ground as much as the kid probably was.

"All I know," he started after a pause to tuck his chin atop the younger teen's head, "is that I can't leave you alone. I mean, even _now_—" Frau bit down on the sentence, stubbornly refusing to continue it. Because words were messy and unreliable on the _best _of times, and Frau was just all over the damn place – happy and worried, frustrated for two _whole different _reasons. So, instead, he tried finding a different way to move the conversation along, remembering quite clearly the advice Castor had given him earlier in the day: let Teito come to him. He wouldn't push the kid into anything; just give him a nudge in the right direction.

Only, how to do that in this situation? He could try fumbling out a sentance about his _feelings_, sure, if he wanted to put on a dress and grow a vagina, but Frau had rather grown fond of how his body was now, so that option was struck out. And wasn't it just sad that his knowledge was limited to there?

Frau petted the boy's head, cautious and careful, feeling the words bubble on his tongue and not really knowing where they were coming from, but they seemed fine enough, the warm body in his arms melting into exhaustion, limbs loose and relaxed. He kept his voice smooth and steady, melodious, every once in a while drifting off into just the soundless movement of his lips before bringing it back with a rush of breath. And for every word he paired it with a caress – fingers skimming across damp eyelashes, an irritated-red nose, chapped lips, rubbed at a sinewy arm drenched in his sweater.

"_Komm sei brav schlaf doch schlaf schlaf ein_," Frau murmured against Teito's warm forehead, fingers skimming across a smooth jaw, thumb caressing the dip of a cheek. "_Der rote Wundervogel Kunt, Singt ein Lied_."

Teito mouthed the words against Frau's shoulder, lost in a fever daze. His own curious hand found the blond's hip and followed the hard, sharp lines of muscle to a broad chest. He pressed his hand flat, splaying his fingers, feeling the beat of a heart and the rise and fall of breath being muttered into his hair. It tickled his scalp and ear, sending a shiver down his spine that had him pressing closer to Frau, blindly searching for heat. A hand closed gently around his wrist, and Teito focused on his breathing, to keep blood flowing to his brain, as sung words were nipped into the supple skin on his wrist.

"_Schlafe ein schlaf nun ein schlaf ein_," Frau finished with a sigh, pressing a chaste kiss to the younger teen's wrist and giving him control of his limb again.

All Teito did was hold the offending arm close to his chest, breathing slowly and evenly as if asleep. Frau ran his hand through tousled hair again, and the brunet, pliable like a cooked noodle, tilted his head back in response to the gesture. Licking his lips, Frau hovered closer, agonizingly slow and thoughtful, and felt the faintest brush of their lips, their _first kiss_.

And Frau spectacularly fell on his ass after being shoved off the couch.

The blond hissed sharply at not only the crack his skull made on the ground, but at the snap his elbow made on the coffee table. His whole arm tingled painfully.

Glaring winter-blues looked up to find Mikhail, wine-colored eyes sparking cruelly, smirking down at him from behind the couch, a tray held aloft in one hand, and the other _innocently _resting over his chest.

"You—"

"_Izvinite_," the older blond cooed, his voice dripping sickly sweet. "I just meant to grab your attention, _Master Frau_. I did not startle you, did I?"

"Mikhail!" Teito groaned pathetically and did his damn best to act like a turtle by hiding in Frau's sweater.

"Vat?" The butler blinked, lips turning down into a put-upon frown as he tapped his fist to the backrest of the couch. "Zis time I am innocent, _YA klyanus'_."

"_Unschuldig, meinen arsch_," Frau snapped as he dragged together what was left of his dignity and stood, being extra careful not to touch his arm against anything.

Mikhail had wicked eyes on him in an instant. "_Malo nemetskiy sobak dolzhny nauchit'sya chtoby ostat'sya s divana."_

"Stop speaking _Russian_, you _dick_!"

At that, Mikhail laughed, something that bubbled from the pit of his stomach and sounded maniacal and frightening and one pill short of crazy. Frau blanched and took a step back as the man came around the couch to place a bowl of tomato soup on the coffee table. He turned to the young blond and grinned, free hand raised as if it were a puppet, thumb moving against his other fingers as it 'talked'.

"_Yip, yip_," the butler's grin stretched as he made a sound similar to that of a giggle.

Frau turned to Teito, who had turned his back on them both in a vain attempt to disappear into the small space between the backrest and the seat. "Teito, wha'd he say?"

"Dun't wanna 'ell yuu," he muttered to the cushion, huddling further into his borrowed hood.

Mikhail settled the rest of what he brought from the kitchens aesthetically on the low table: two glasses of made-from-scratch hot chocolate, to battle the chill that was beginning to descend outside, and a platter of tiny pinched breads with something filling their centers.

Offhandedly, Teito was rolled onto his back and a polished silver spoon was presented to him by a nonchalant-looking Mikhail. "Time for food, young master. I vant all of it gone."

Teito sighed and rolled himself onto the floor, scooting close to the table and dunking his spoon into the watery red depths.

Frau pointed to the little breads. "What is that?"

"_Pirozhki_," Mikhail responded respectfully, though his mouth ticked up in a half-smirk. "It is _good_. Eat. Zey are for you." And with that, he turned on his heel to walk out the room.

"Mikhail," Teito called over his shoulder, stabbing his soup with his spoon.

"Ah, yes," Mikhail padded back to the couch on silent feet, free hand drifting across his person until he pulled a foil bag from an inner pocket of his jacket. Why he had them there, it was best not to ask.

He presented the _Goldfish _bag to Teito. "Your fishes, young sir."

Teito blushed a vibrant red, though still snatched the bag away from the elder blond, and placed the orange crackers one at a time into the soup, his every movement precise.

At Teito's right, Frau was patting down his own pockets, cursing quietly when he couldn't find what he was looking for. He gave Mikhail a _Look_ and the butler rolled his shoulders, confused. Frau jutted his chin towards Teito, trying to convey without words what he wanted. Mikhail glanced down, a thoughtful expression pulling his lips before an _Ah-Ha _moment brightened up eerily red eyes.

Mikhail took a sleek phone from a pocket in his coat, throwing it to the younger man who had the better lighting. The _snap _the phone made startled Teito, and the young teen looked up accusingly at them both.

"What was that?"

"What was what, young master?" "Whaddaya talkin' about?"

Teito glared at both of them before returning to his red sea filled with orange fishes. "Fuck you guys."

"I vill be in ze kitchen should I be needed." Mikhail curved his spine in a half bow, and turned back to the door.

"Thanks, Mikhail," Teito called to his butler's retreating form, hearing his smooth Russian tones responding as the doors to the drawing room clicked shut. Beside him, Frau settled on the ground and picked up one of the fried breads.

"These are poisoned, aren't they?"

"Mikhail wouldn't do that." The brunet slurped his soup, taking a few fishes along and feeling more human than he'd felt since post-V-Day. "They're _Pirozhki_, it's his favorite. He us'lly puts meats an' cheeses an' stuff in 'em. Kinda like a san'wich wrapped inna blanket."

They ate their food quietly, Frau polishing off all five of the small breads quickly despite his earlier unease. Now he was nursing his hot cocoa, his back curved against the sofa, and refused to give compliments to the chef, no matter how begrudgingly. He'd settle for petting the owner of said chef, fingers curling and nails scratching at the curve of the boy's skull (because, really, Frau just couldn't _stop himself _from touching the kid).

Beside him, Teito sighed happily, head dipping heavy into Frau's palm. "I can talk like a normal person again."

"I have magical healing powers."

"Shuddup, stupid."

"Everyone's a doubter. Look, I fuckin' got you purring in my hand."

To nullify Frau's point, Teito leaned away from Frau's hand and glared at him. In turn, the blond withdrew and raised his hand in defeat, a handsome grin plastered on his features, looking not the least bit apologetic for having been caught.

"You enjoyed it." He took a sip of his cocoa and _really_, was he _really _going to have to come back and deal with _Mikhail _to get more of this sweet, sweet nectar? Maybe Kurena knew how to make it – Frau liked her far better. Or maybe he could make it himself. Not that Frau's ever been privy to culinary knowledge, but it couldn't be that difficult to make hot chocolate. It was just chocolate heated up. Maybe.

He took another sip, and tried to separate flavors. There was definitely the chocolate, a bit bitter, so dark chocolate? And the liquid was too smooth to be water, so milk. Whole milk. There was a sweet undercurrent, so maybe a few tablespoons of sugar, or chocolate syrup, oh that sounded _awesome_. But then, he could just dunk a whole bottle of chocolate syrup into a heated cup of milk instead of dealing with the laborious process of putting the thing together.

And if he even thought of _trying _to do the from-scratch thing at home, Guido would wolf down all the goddamn chocolate like the glutton he was and blame the Keebler elves or something of stealing it, just like he blamed the sock gnomes for all of Frau's missing pairs.

(It was embarrassing that Frau still couldn't prove it was Guido who was stealing all his socks, despite his best efforts and hiding in his closet for the good part of the day.)

"_Frau_?"

"Yeah," the blond started back into himself, glancing down at the boy resting his arms and head on the table, eyes, tinged with curiosity, trained on him. "You said something?"

Teito seemed indecisive all of a sudden, if the shift of his posture and gaze was any indication. He curled a bit closer into himself, arms drawing closer to his chest, chin tucked between them, knees raised and pulled as closely to himself as the table would allow – it really didn't look like a comfortable position.

"What's up, kid?"

"You—" Teito started, glaring at a spot just over the blond's shoulder. He sighed deeply through his nose, a faint whistle the only indication of his illness. His shoulders hunched though, and Frau had the mental image of a cat raising its hackles but not hissing.

The blond tried to make himself look as innocent as possible, slouched lazily against the couch – even if his back was protesting to the awkward curve – mug held between his two hands, resting it lightly against his abdomen. He knew he still kind of failed at it – he just wasn't built to look meek and unthreatening (and, really, he didn't know whose side of the family he should blame on that) but he tried anyways, and Teito seemed to appreciate the attempt because he sighed, exhausted, and focused instead on the mug with the _Star Trek _logo half-hidden by Frau's hand.

"This doesn't bother you?" And to elaborate on what _this _entitled, Teito waved a vague hand to their surroundings.

"Hey, I'd _live _here, if I could." Frau patted the couch awkwardly over his shoulder. "This thing's more comfortable than my bed. Granted, I've been using that thing since I was nine but—"

"No," Teito shook his head minutely and looked away to hide the wince as he stretched out his sleeping limbs. "I mean the lifestyle. The giant house, the expensive artwork and carpets, the helpers, the fucking," he flicked the end of his spoon, making it rattle in the empty bowl, "silverware."

Frau looked down to his cup for a moment before bringing the rim to his lips. "I really give no fucks, Klein." He took a sip and sighed happily. There was no way a Russian made this dream of chocolaty goodness. They were all pure evil, down to their itty, bitty black hearts. "I sure as hell didn't care with Cass. Shit, I _still _kept kickin' his ass and makin' him cry every other week."

"And the other weeks?"

Frau glared at his cup. "He learned how to throw a punch." At Teito's soft chuckle, he looked up, eyes warming at the sight of the boy.

"You were probably hoping to keep all this secret," he set down his mug and took up Teito's, fingers gliding across the little pink rabbits running along the bottom. "Weren't you?"

"This stuff," Teito impatiently gestured to the room again, "it isn't mine. It's bribery, it's the gilded cage— Mikhail and Kurena have made this place as homely as they possibly could, but…"

"You're used to something else."

Teito rested his head against the table, arms cradled around in a makeshift pillow. "I used to live like a stray, and now I'm being groomed to be the son and heir of a major CEO. Nothing better than a show horse."

"You're telling me things I didn't even ask to know."

"I want you to know," Teito groaned, frustrated. "I'm not the same kid at school that—"

"Yes you are," Frau rolled his eyes. "You're more that kid than the one livin' here. Cass is more the sarcastic, know-it-all, narcissistic caregiver than the serious, capable prince he plays at home. Lab is more the cunning, aggressive, needy nerd than the kind and humble saint his remaining family thinks he is. Razette is _way_ _more_ mischievous than her pretty little face lets on. Away from pryin', judgin' eyes," Frau took a sip of lukewarm cocoa, "we act the way we want to."

"And you?"

Frau smirked as his thumb caressed one of the rabbits. "I gave up tryin' to impress people long ago. Ten years from now, I'll know where I'll be, who I'll be."

"And where and who is that?" The brunet leaned back against the sofa, his head nestled on the cushion, turned to face Frau.

"I'll be a mechanic, takin' over my dad's garage." He shrugged. "Not a fancy life, fuck no. It'll be filled with awkward workin' hours, ungrateful bastards, dumbass pricks; I'll be elbow deep in grime and grease, probably won't be _actually clean _ever again." The blond looked down at his fingers, the edges already permanently stained black with oil. "But, that's fine. It's something I want to do."

The blond gave a sudden pause, free hand rhythmically tapping a beat against the ceramic mug. He faced forward but his winter-blues were hazed over in thought, unseeing. The silence wasn't awkward, but it wasn't comfortable either. Teito twitched, an arm's length away, and subtly scooted a bit closer to Frau. That made the blond smile, and he allowed himself to express it. Because the coiling warmth in his chest was spreading and making him giddy – and he was going to turn into a girl, God help him.

Without looking, Frau presented his hand. The gesture was indistinct, though with his palm up it was obvious he was asking for something. He could feel more than see Teito look at him, at his hand, indecisive. Frau accepted this easily – unlike what Castor liked to believe, he knew rejection well, had it thrown in his face more often than not. So he's learned, can test the water without touching it after being scalded the first time. And this, with Teito, he could understand what Castor meant about allowing the kid to approach _him_.

Because the kid was fighting against what he wanted and what was being asked of him. Because he wanted to trust Frau, but didn't know if he should, and to just make it easier on himself, he'd rather push the decision on Frau.

_'I'm an orphan,'_ he was saying when Frau had never asked because Teito wanted to tarnish the image the blond had of him in his mind. _'Mom died giving birth. Dad died in the war. My uncle died in a car crash.'_ Like it was _his fault_. Then that meant Castor gave his father the same terminal illness that killed his mother. That Labrador was responsible for the death of his parents and siblings. That Razette chose to be a target and have painful mental scars that couldn't disappear like her physical ones. And Frau – Frau chased his parents away.

_'I ran from social services, lived on the street.'_ Razette had self-mutilated to get through the day. Labrador had punched walls to keep from punching people. Castor had mistreated his servants to have control over something. Frau stopped caring.

_'And now I'm here, and I have everything any kid could ever want, a comfortable bed and food whenever I want it, and I'm thankful, but I'm not happy, Frau. At all.'_

Labrador found happiness in making a new family for himself. Castor found relief in caring for others instead of wealth. Razette found liberation and strength in song, in the crowd that cheered and understood the pain in her signing and accepted and loved her and raised her up because she became _their _voice, for all their pain, whether big or small.

Teito didn't say it, but he didn't need to – the question was left hanging, blurred at the edges in his red-rimmed eyes, in the twisted turn of his mouth.

_'How can you want someone like me?'_

And, really, there was nothing to think about anymore. All his previous worries seemed childish and vain. He'd accept rejection should it come, but that didn't mean Frau wouldn't try at all.

"…_I_ can make you happy."

The young teen sucked in a sudden breath, blinking hard, pulling back, because Frau hadn't reacted the way he wanted him to. This was not The Plan. The Plan was Failing. If one were inclined to ask Frau his opinion, he'd say let The Plan _rot_.

Frau deliberately placed his mug back on the table and held out his hand again in silent invitation. Another chance, the last he'd give the poor boy today. He was still sick, after all. Frau didn't want to impose any more than he's already done.

"I can make you happy, Teito."

It was fear and pain in those emerald eyes, quiet desperation. Wanting but not taking, because he's been given so much already and he doesn't deserve it—

"You're what _I _want. What do you want?"

Eye contact was broken, and the space separating them was wider now, Frau rushed too soon too fast. Now this street-bred cat was hackling and growling so deep in its throat that it made no noise, backing away from the offered comfort because it hurt and learned not to trust. But how far gone was Frau that he was willing to be patient when he'd never been this patient before.

"Okay, yeah," he dropped his hand, letting it hit the ground with a soft _thunk_. Frau didn't let the disappointment show; instead he smiled reassuringly and made no move to crowd in Teito's personal space. "It hasn't even been a week. Kinda rushin' this, aren't I? Yeah, sorry 'bout that. Cass says I'm pretty single-minded; now I can kinda see why."

Frau stood and uncurled his spine, feeling something pop in place that alleviated previous discomfort. Though the previous warmth in his chest had turned to ice, and there was no way of alleviating that.

"Take the time, and think it over. We don't have to talk about this; we don't have to act any differently at school. You just come to me when you're ready and I'll listen. I'll listen and respect your answer so don't worry. Just, Tei," Frau walked around the couch and gripped the headrest, fingers turning white with the strain – not that Teito could see, his back was to Frau. "You, well. Look, don't say yes 'cause you feel you have to; I don't want that, I don't need it. Don't say no 'cause you don't think you're worth the effort; I'm a big boy, let me make my own choices.

"I'll leave now 'cause you really should still be resting and we kinda just fudged that up. I'll take my kiddies and go, Hakuren'll probably stay a little bit longer. I think he still needs to report to the Mothership." And wasn't it the saddest thing that Frau had to consciously keep himself from reaching out to touch the kid? He turned to leave, fingers reluctantly peeling away from their death grip on the couch, but stopped at the door, hand hovering over the knob.

"If I needed a reason, and if I had to pick one, it'll be on that day, in ROTC, when you twisted your ankle durin' our run but didn't tell anyone and," he chuckled fondly, gentler than he thought himself capable of. "And it got so swollen I had to carry you to the nurse's office."

"…and I fought you every step of the way," Teito muttered into his knees just loud enough to be heard. He hunched his shoulders at the weight of Frau's stare.

"Yeah," the blond traced fingers over a scar hidden by golden hair along his temple. "I remember that."

"…and you still didn't put me down."

Frau clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth, sporting his trademark grin – too much teeth and fearless abandon. "I'm a stubborn sonnavabitch, what can I say?" He smiled more gently now, watching his fingers tap idly against the polished doorknob. "Get some rest, _kleine Katze_. You kiddies get to play with frogs on Wednesday, can't wait to see how that turns out in Bio—"

"Frau, wait!"

Frau paused in his turn of the knob, eyebrow raised curiously as he turned to the boy. He looked flushed, kneeling on the couch, hands gripping the headrest where Frau had them not minutes ago. He was fidgety, but looked determined, though Frau squashed the rise of hope swelling in his chest. He had to keep level headed, maybe even just a bit detached, because if it all went to hell he had to be able to laugh and pretend like he didn't even care in the first place, otherwise how was he going to face this kid at school or even just keep—

"Will you go out with me?"

And Teito didn't so much as _say _it, as _screamed _it at Frau who was struck stupid for a moment, really, because of all the things he had been expecting, that _definitely _wasn't it. And he felt like he was grinning like a stupid _dumbass _but couldn't tell himself to stop, because, yeah, that's one way to ask someone out. He'd have to remember this, because this was worth remembering, the kid looking so adorable and embarrassed and sinking down the couch to hide—

_"FUDGE A DUCK, I NEED VISUAL, _NOW_!"_

Startled, Frau twisted the doorknob and tugged it open, because that voice came from outside, _right outside_, and he caught the teenagers that came with him in the car, poised to run down the hallway en masse but caught on pause. The stupid ones pretended like they hadn't just been caught eavesdropping, the smart ones looked apologetic.

Actually, that should just be the smart_ one_. Shuri didn't even look like he wanted to be there at all.

"What—" Frau bit, homicidal aura thickening around him like dense fog. "Are you guys. Doing."

Hakuren, being at the forefront of the group, looked to his peers for support. They all but hung him out to dry. "We were just…coming to get you…so we can go home?"

Frau's glare more than said how much he believed that.

"It wasn't _my idea_, okay?"

"It sounds right up your alley though, Oak."

Hakuren sighed, a bit pink in the cheeks, and refused to meet Frau's glare. "It only looks that way because we are similar in some regards."

Frau looked over the group. "And who's the other guy that belongs in this 'we' of yours?"

"_Yeah, that'll be me._"

Frau raised an eyebrow and looked down. Teito stood on the couch and craned to look over the blond blocking the doorway.

"Mikage?" He asked, because, no. His friend was supposed to be in England, welcoming his new sister-in-law into their family. He wasn't supposed to have arrived yet.

_"TE-I-TO!" _Frau stepped aside so Hakuren could present his phone where the chipper voice was crackling through. _"Just when I think you can't get any more adorable, hey, you _do_! Oh, please, please, pleaseplease tell me someone recorded that."_

"Hold on," Labrador slipped between Hakuren and the wall, keeping the freshman between himself and Frau, and calmly walked towards one of the shelves. He moved a picture frame and a plastic figure of a superhero all in red to get to the handheld recorder wedged between some books. He fiddled with the settlings, and once satisfied he gave the room a thumb up and a smile. "I got it!"

_"Labrador, I. _Love. _You! We will, you and me, buddy, we will go get soft tacos, guacamole, hor-chata! The whole _she-bang_ when I land on good ol' US of A, 'cause MEXICAN, man, I miss it like I miss my bed and my Cake, which Teito refused—"_

"Mikage," Teito interrupted his friend, otherwise, if allowed, he would just rant. "It was a _stuffed animal_. I am _not babysitting –_ just—" _Prioritize, Klein_, he told himself."Isn't it midnight over there? What are you doing up? And on the _phone_? And…_spying _on me?" He snarled the last bit out.

_"…Hakuren called me."_

Eyes turned to the blond in question, and he raised his hands defensively in front of him. "Hey, _no_. I was just going to tell him that we came, we saw, you just had the sniffles."

_"And then you told me he was getting cuddly on the couch."_

"Mikage," Hakuren growled at the phone. "I swear, I will hurt you. _Shut up_."

_"Oh, c'mon, Mommy. Our little princess wouldn't hurt you."_

"Daddy, it's the _boyfriend _I'm worried about," he hissed, though looked up, frightened, at Frau who hadn't _stopped _glaring. He took a step back, trying to edge behind Razette.

_"Wut? Why? He looks like a total nerd."_

"Who are you talking about?"

_"Dude in glasses. That's who we're giving our princess away to, right?"_

"What? Wait," Hakuren braced his unoccupied hand against his hip, full attention on the phone in his palm and not the murderous gazes around him. "Are you referring to Castor? Because he already has a girlfriend."

_"…meeeeh. I can't remember their names. All I know is he had glasses and brown hair and he looked ready to murder the guy taking the picture."_

"No, sweetie, that's Castor. That's not, no. That's not who we are discussing about here."

_"Then which one is he?"_

"The really hot one."

_"Hakuren,"_ Mikage sighed audibly into the phone, making the static sizzle._ "Haku, Gumball, baby. I don't _understand_ how you gauge attractiveness. Because, to you, _Dante _is_ _attractive, of all the characters you could've picked in the Devil May Cry games, so, so yeah. I mean, Trish, _Trish_, man,_ _and you choose Dante. I'm going to need a little more than that."_

Violet eyes rolled. "He's hotter than you."

_"Blasphemy!"_

"I'm sorry, Daddy, but he is. He's the blond one."

_"The one that looks two steps away from becoming a Hell's Angel?"_

"Actually," Labrador interrupted, giving strength to his voice so the tiny microphone across the room could pick it up. "He already owns the bike, so it's more like one step away. Right, Frau?"

The blond, confused one hundred and thirty percent at this point, pulled into himself long enough to respond. "Problem with the exhaust pipe, the replacement'll be here in two weeks."

"There, see?"

_"I like the nerd better. He looks studious, like he'll become a lawyer or something. I don't want Teito working. He's too delicate for that."_

"You can't baby him forever, Daddy."

_"I can fucking try! Put the delinquent on the phone, I need to have a talk with him."_

Hakuren presented the phone to Frau who eyed it like it might sprout teeth and bite him. "I will send you the long-distance bill, Frau. Pick up the phone."

The blond senior sighed and rolled his eyes. He snatched the phone and held it close enough so he didn't have to speak loudly to be heard. "So you're the famous Mikage, I presume."

_"Flattery will get you everywhere, my boy."_

And, yeah, Frau had to grin at that.

_"So what are you intentions with my daughter?"_

"Mikage!" Teito snarled from his stunned position on the couch. He lunched over it and stalked purposefully towards Frau, lip raised up into a snarl.

_"Teito told me he liked all the Valentine's you guys got him and it made him really happy!"_

With a soft coo, Labrador caught Teito from behind, trapping his arms at his sides in a fierce hug. Hakuren followed with his arms around the brunet's waist, cuddling warmly against him, and Razette squeezed herself in between Labrador and Hakuren, arms around the boy's neck. While Shuri, with a shrug, half-hugged Razette and his cousin – Castor felt too told for that shit.

_"Did it work?"_

"Yessir," Frau responded because, why the hell not? He wasn't going to be the one to question who Teito's 'daddy' was, and best to earn brownie points where he could, even if the kid on the phone was younger than him.

_"Cool. It's so nice to have more minions I can manipulate to do my bidding."_

"Don't let them hear you say that," Frau huffed a laugh. He rubbed a hand through his hair, wondering how things got so crazy so quickly.

_"Nah. They're okay with it. We had a _Talk_,_ _capital T. Now, you and me—your name was?"_

"Frau, Sir."

_"Mikage, as you should already know. So, Frau, Teito is my bestest friend. Like, ever. _Since_ ever, alright, don't let him tell you otherwise, he lies. I even tried making him my real brother, but apparently I'm not legally registered to marry him off to my sister so that was a bust. Fucking government. Anyway, I care about him, as I hope you do as well. But you need to care about him more than I do. Am I speaking English here, or do I need to get my French on?"_

"I'm of German descent, actually," he smirked, because it was difficult not to around Mikage.

_"Oh. Damn, I've only taken French. Okay, I'll learn German and then we'll understand each other better, savvy?"_

"I can understand English just fine, Sir. No need to go through all that trouble."

_"I like you, kid. So I'll cut you a deal – that is, if I'm satisfied with your answer." _Mikage paused, the line going silent long enough that Frau checked to see if it was still connected. It was. _"What are your intentions with my daughter?"_

"Sir," Frau straightened up to his full height, shoulders back, feet together, free hand pressed to his side – standing at attention that would make any general proud. "I aim to make your daughter happy, to love him and cherish him and stay by his side whenever I'm needed and whenever I'm wanted. I also aim to fuck his brains out every other day, five times a day should time permit and to at least embarrass him twice a week, whether at school, in public, or at his home, Sir."

Castor slapped his forehead, Shuri and Razette both blushed a bright crimson, Labrador laughed openly, and Hakuren grinned a little too happily. Teito tried not to die from blushing.

Mikage hummed on the other side of the connection. _"Make that embarrass him three times a week, one of which has to be on the date you take him out on once a week."_

"That can be arranged, Sir," Frau smirked wickedly, winter-blues lidded and heavy.

_"Okay, in exchange for my daughter's innocence, I'm expecting payment of five new comic books, a new t-shirt – My Little Pony; I'll send you the link – and two new video games."_

"How about _three _new comic books, _two _t-shirts and a new video game."

_"New release?"_

"Yes, that's fine."

_"You got yourself a deal, son-in-law. Point me in Teito's general direction – he'll cut the line if you give him the phone."_

Frau did as he was told, turning away as much as he could to privately reign in his laughter.

_"Teito."_

"I am going to kill you. Slowly. Painfully," he snapped. "It will not be fun, for you."

_"Save that for your wedding night, geez. So,"_ Mikage sighed audibly, the chipper tone settled into something calmer. _"How are you?"_

Teito sighed as well, and seeing that no one had released him yet from his prison-hug, he allowed everyone else to keep him up. His head was spinning and it hurt.

"Mikhail thinks I have polio. Kurena says it's just stress."

_"I'd listen to Kurena. She's not psycho-crazy."_

"Yeah. Yeah, okay."

_"Tei, you know I miss you right?"_

Teito blushed and buried his nose into Hakuren's shoulder. "Yes."

_"And I love you. Not that way, Frau, god, I'm married already. Jesus, people_."

"Do you have a _point_, Mikage?"

_"Yup."_

When a continued response wasn't quickly given, Teito looked up to the phone. The screen was black; the keys nonexistent save for three lone buttons at the bottom, one of which was blinking white. The brunet sighed again and prayed that the fire alarm would ring, or Mikhail would throw everyone out, or _something_.

"And what is your point?"

_"I'm going to catch the bouquet in your honor tomorrow."_

"_Mikage_!"

"_Okay! Gotta go! I wanna meet all you guys, so TACOS! Labrador, make it happen—"_

"Yes, sir," Labrador saluted over Teito's head.

_"Haku, baby!"_

Hakuren peeled away enough from the embrace-that-wasn't-an-embrace-anymore-but-a-human-jail-cell to call over his shoulder. "Yes, my King?"

_"Make sure these two idiots kiss before the day ends! I cannot, _cannot_ go on if they don't start getting the ball rolling. I want grandchildren soon, you get me?"_

"I'll handle that bit," Frau spoke into the phone, a content smirk pulling at his lips.

_"Good, good. Taking initiative, Frau, I like that. So, Haku, instead, make sure Mikhail gets a kiss before the day ends. Tell him it's from me and that I miss him and his cinnamon buns. His normal buns are nice too."_

Hakuren barked a laugh. "Got it, Captain."

_"Sweet. Razette, darling little mermaid, Razette."_

The girl in question hummed happily, rising to her toes to look over Hakuren and Shuri.

_"Make sure Mikhail doesn't kill him. He's Mommy, we can't have anything bad happen to Mommy. Use those big doe eyes of yours—"_

"Don't use Razette for your little schemes," Castor snarled at the phone, arms crossed over his chest.

_"You. I don't , just don't want to hear from you. No. You could've had Teito but you didn't want to so I don't, no, just no. You make me sad. Very sad. Shhh. No speaking. _

_"Shuri! Try not to be a total spazz anymore, 'kay? Because I know your greatest fear and it is not catching on fire. It is much, much stupider, and so much funnier, and you'll know I'll do it, you _know_—" "Mikage Celestine! What the _bloody fucking hell _are you doing up at this fucking hour on the fucking phone?" "Hey, Kokuyou! The sexy wife keeping you up, you _naughty dog_! That's supposed to happen _after _the wedding!" "Hang up right now or swear—"_

The line cut and steadily beeped, signaling the disconnection. Frau tossed the phone to Hakuren who caught it easily. He sidestepped away from the group hug, tapping away at his phone and to all eyes lost in virtual space. Shuri, when no one was looking, snuck back into the drawing room to 'borrow' a few things – Labrador figured as long as the older Oak returned the items, there was no need for him to say anything. And Razette, happily humming, trotted over to Castor's side and hugged him.

Given space to breathe again, Teito inhaled deeply, rubbing sorely at his chest as it stung with an illness he brought upon himself. Mikage was insane batshit crazy on the best of times, and he could only handle it in short bursts, _though not when ill_. He could feel his headache coming back, and made a note to ask Mikhail for some tea or something. Maybe Nyquil so he could just pass out and pretend this day never happened. Or at least the last couple of minutes.

Beside him, Frau curled an arm around his waist, startling a squeak and flushed face from the teen. He grinned down at the boy and kissed him. It was soft, chaste, and sweet – everything Frau was not – and when he pulled back, he informed Teito as much.

"The harder stuff comes later."

Teito stuttered and was saved from floundering for a response when Mikhail emerged from the hall, an eyebrow raised, and a covered plate in hand.

"Sooo, children. Having fun, yes?"

Confused looks were passed around, and as a unit, they all nodded.

"Good. Now get out," he smiled politely and indicated the way with a wave of the hand.

They congregated back at the foyer, milling about and patting down for all personal affects, making certain nothing got left behind. Kurena stood, statue-still and quiet, by the stairs, looking at them all with a blank gaze that was one degree warmer than when they had first arrived.

Mikhail handed off the covered plate to Hakuren. "For your mozer. Send my regards."

"Thank you. She's recuperating well enough. The doctor says just another month and she'll be up and about like before."

The butler made a noncommittal noise in his throat. He tipped forward a bit in a bow; white glove splayed over the black of his suit, and gave a farewell in Russian. Before he could escape back into the bowels of the estate, Hakuren grabbed his attention.

"Mikage likes your buns."

That was followed by some forehead rubbing, a dark mutter of Russian, and wine eyes trained onto the younger blond. "He told you to kiss me, did he not?"

"Yes." Hakuren rocked on his heels. And, feeling the impending danger of the cobbler, Shuri swopped in and moved it to a safer location. "Sooooo, can I?"

"_Net_."

Impatient, Mikhail ushered them all out, outright shoving a few. There were half-hearted thrown goodbyes to the servants that were not returned, and Frau lingered at the doorstep with Teito, Mikhail watching them by the door.

"Your butler is terrifying. I think he's trying to kill me with his eyes. No, don't look," Frau grinned as he cupped the boy's cheek, keeping him from turning to look over his shoulder.

"He means well," Teito sighed, and promptly coughed, the chill (or all the yelling from before) irritating his throat. "You know," he swallowed thickly, though that did nothing to alleviate the scratching sensation. "You never answered my question."

Frau raised an eyebrow, running the day through his head, trying to find what Teito was referencing to when a small hand drenched in a too-long sleeve slipped into his. Those slender fingers were warm. He hummed, as if mulling it over.

"Yes, but only if you gimmie a kiss."

Teito groaned. "Mikhail is _right there_."

"And he'll castrate me, not you. And risk is outweighed by the gain. C'mon," he swung their joined hands, feeling far too giddy to be healthy. "Castor'll leave me here if I don't hurry and then how'll I get home?"

"You take the bus," Teito glared.

"And the bus stop is _really far away_. Please?" He did his best puppy-dog impression, and Teito was crumbling. "Just on the cheek, please? I've been waiting for this for a while now."

"How long is a while?"

Frau genuinely smiled now, bending forward until his forehead pressed to Teito's. "Since school started."

"Bullshit."

He grinned. "Everyone's a doubter."

Quick as a flash, Teito pressed a kiss to Frau's cheek, feeling the scratch of blond stubble on his lips and the warmth of human skin, and he blushed, pulling back and away, retreating to Mikhail's side. The butler sheltered him from the cold evening air, or maybe from Frau, but Teito leaned far enough so the blond German could see him wave.

The gravel at his feet crunched as he spun on his heel and walked towards Castor's packed car, the front passenger-side door left open for him. He allowed himself a laugh and a grin, giving a wave high above his head to anyone who wanted it.

"Someone mark it off; I did one of my 'Embarrass Teito' deals!"

_And there would be many more to come._

* * *

**A/N: This time, it really is the end. No epilogue, nada. Seriously, guys. Seriously. No more puppy-dog eyes and ~SQUEALS~. This is not turning into Thing. B|**

**The song Frau sings is a lullaby called "Schlaf ein" which can be found here (remove spaces and brackets):**

_Schlaf ein_  
( www . youtube [.com] / watch?feature=player_embedded&v=gXpy5AT1Mqw )

**And lyrics here, just do your own google translate (remove spaces and brackets):**

_Schlaf Ein - Frank Schobel_  
( www . lyricsmania [.com] / schlaf_ein_lyrics_frank_schobel [.html] )

**It took me way longer than I'd like to admit to find this song. I need a secretary for all my grunt work, jezz. And, again, GOOGLE TRANSLATE IS MY FRIEND - HE INSULTED YOUR LANGUAGE, NOT ME.**

Mikhail:  
**извините**  
_izvinite_  
i beg your pardon (sorry)

**Я клянусь**  
_YA klyanus'_  
i swear

**мало || немецкий собак || должны научиться || чтобы остаться с дивана**  
little || german dogs || must learn || to stay off the couch.  
_Malo nemetskiy sobak dolzhny nauchit'sya chtoby ostat'sya s divana._

**нет**  
_net_  
no

Frau:  
_kleine Katze_  
kitten

_Unschuldig, meinen arsch_  
innocent, my ass

**That is all. Thanks for sticking with me this far, you guys were amazing and incredibly sweet with your reviews. See ya next story~**


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